After Hours
by Regenschein
Summary: AU SasuNaru. Uchiha Sasuke isn't your typical Romeo or normal human being for that matter. So when he suddenly begins to develop sexual feelings for the hyperactive blond after an interesting encounter, Sasuke can't help but not control himself.
1. The Tight Ass That Got Away

**Disclaimer**: I do not own _Naruto _or any of its charaters... (Good thing too, I'd probably make them do crazy porn related things all the time... probably yaoi stuff non-stop... although, maybe that wouldn't be that much of a bad thing, would it?)

**(A/N) **Erm - Before anyone kills me, I must say that I edited everything and I'm making this story before _sooo_... Yeah. Please don't kill me? Pwease! Sorry it took so long! I had to over look through a lot of crap and I noticed I use the "..." thing too much. I was getting ticked off with all the dots! Hell, I thought I was going to go insane (more insane than I already am, which I thought to be impossible)! Grr, before I shank a random person (with something pointy, or piece of paper, I'm not sure how or why) I'm gonna go and finish... My random editing that I hope you guys won't be angry about... -nervous laugh- _I love you guys! _-runs away-

**Sasuke:** Hn. Does that mean I'll have to take over?

... -hears frantic squeaking-

Damn. Alright, enjoy the crappy story.

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_Chapter 1: The Tight Ass That Got Away_

_Oh dear sweet baby Jesus_...

Yeah, that's exactly what I thought as I stood there like an idiot. You might say I sound stupid for thinking something like that but lets just say what I saw really _surprised_ me. Since, I was staring at a wet and _naked_ Naruto...

Exactly.

_Wow_...

I stared at his well-toned and tan body, and just wondered why I never noticed that Naruto was actually _hot._

Then all of a sudden a flustered Naruto grabs the nearest hard object and throws it right at my face. "_Stop staring you shameless perverted bastard_!" he yelled at me.

Before I could even react I found myself on the floor and on my back, my nose bleeding. I feel dizzy...and wonder about what just happened.

"That's what you get!" Naruto yelled as he closed the bathroom door shut, blushing.

I sat up slowly and shook my head, as I tried to get up and regain my neutral and careless image. But it's a bit hard, since well _I'm_ a bit hard.

Fuck! _No_, no, no! Why the hell and I - Wait no! I'm not... I'm not hard! I'm simply... uh - It's my hormones! Yeah! That's it! It's my hormones... of course.

Then the image of a butt naked Naruto pops into my head. I bash my head into the wall, feeling sick.

"_Knock it off asshole_!" Naruto shouted from the other side of the door. "Just go to school already dammit! I can go by myself!"

"Whatever..." I heard myself say. I then ran the _fuck_ out of there. As soon as I got out of Naruto's apartment I headed to our school and just tried to focus and forget what I had seen. I then began to drool a bit.

_Fuck! _

I slapped myself and wiped my drool away.

Why the hell do I have this urge to just - _No_, no, _no_! There's no _way in hell _that I'm falling for that dumbass!

I'm _Sasuke Uchiha _dammit! I'm the top student of my class, and the most popular guy in school! There's simply no way I could possibly _ever_ want to _fuck __**Naruto**_! No matter how delicious, cute or...sexy he is.

I started to drool again and slapped myself, then repeated the words: Big juicy breasts, In my mind, until I got to school, I sighed angrily as I noticed my fan girls were rushing towards me. Hearts in their eyes, and as usual...willing to get fucked by me. I ignored them, and just went into the school building and headed for my first class as the bell rang. I sat in my usual seat, in the middle row by the window. I looked out the window, and saw the blonde haired male trying to pull up his pants, tie his shoes and fix his shirt and backpack all while hopping and running towards the building's entrance.

"Idiot" I mumbled. Then I noticed that his shirt was unbuttoned. His bare chest and abs were visible. My eyes widened and I gulped as I quickly looked away and began to tap my foot, as I tried to concentrate on other things, _anything_ really.

Uh... Damn, the windows are so dirty I can't see through them. Crap, uh... Well I wonder how many pieces of gum are stuck under my desk!

I desperately looked under it. But just as I tried to count them, I found that I couldn't concentrate again and my mind began to wander right back to Naruto. And just as I slumped over my desk wanting to sleep - thinking that maybe that would help - Kakashi-sensei slammed a book on my desk. I shot up, looking around, alarmed.

"I would appreciate it if our famous Pretty Boy Uchiha would pay attention in class, or at least bother to not get caught sleeping" Kakashi said coldly.

I glared at him. "How about you get off my back? And since when am I 'Pretty Boy Uchiha'? What kind of a pervert with no life comes up with a nickname like that?" I asked, irritated.

He glared at me, but just as he was going to show me some attitude, Naruto barged into the class panting and fixing his shirt.

"S...Sorry, I'm late" he panted.

"Well, nice to see you've _finally_ made it to class Mr. Uzumaki. Maybe now you can _learn_ something... If that is even _possible _of course" He said harshly, signaling for Naruto to sit down at a desk.

We both growled at him, pissed off. But Naruto sat down regardless.

Kakashi ignored us and headed back to the front of the class to _lecture_ us and the class.

What the hell's up with this asshole? I've never gotten along with his porno-addicted ass, but he's never pissed me off this bad. I bet he got stood up by his gay lover. Kakashi you fucking bastard. Man whore. Jack ass. Douche. Douche bag. Pervert. Child Molester. Sex offender. I hope you get fired after the school finds out you've been harassing and fucking your male stu -

That's when the image of me fucking Naruto doggy style popped in my head.

I blushed and instinctively smashed my head down and onto the desk - making a loud _BAM_ - breaking the silence of the students and teacher.

"Is something wrong Mr. Uchiha?" Kakashi asked, raising his visible eyebrow.

"No. It's nothing. I - " I hesitated, still having my head down. "I - uh... saw a fly... and um... tried to kill it... with my head".

There was an awkward silence, and I swear to God that I could hear crickets in the background.

"Do you need to go see the nurse?" Kakashi asked, a bit worried.

"No...I'm alright" I said.

As you can probably guess. I feel really stupid right now. Scratch that, I feel like the stupidest person alive. Why the hell did I say that? I mean, when I finally looked up, Naruto's dumbass just stared at me, with a what-a-dumbass look on his face.

The same face I do to him all the time actually.

I glared at him, he glared back, I scowled, he pouted and just turned around.

Dammit, this is all Iruka sensei's fault. He was the one that told me to go pick up Naruto so he could get to school on time! Now, because I went I can't get the image of Naruto's wet, naked and hot body out of my head!

I laid my head back down on my desk. I grabbed and ripped at my hair.

No, no, no! _GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT_! I can't believe this, I keep imagining myself just fucking rapping him!! I need to think of something else! Um - Dead puppies, dead puppies, _dead puppies_!

I begin to tap my foot loudly.

_Fuck __**not**__ working_!!

_Oh..._

_dear..._

_sweet..._

_baby..._

_Jesus..._

I look down at my pants and _see_ that I'm extremely hard.

_FUCK!_ I can't believe this is happening! You might say this is perfectly normal for someone my age, a 17-year-old and still a virgin, but it's not! Since while 'normal' guys are too busy giving themselves hand jobs and jacking off to porno they stole from their dads (from under their side of the mattress or some other stupid hiding place), I on the other hand am too busy _reading a fucking book and actually getting smarter!…_

Alright, alright, you caught me. I don't get smarter since I'm usually reading Icha Icha Paradise…

But at least I don't jack off to it!

Alright, I've jacked off before but can you blame me, I'm 17 and a damn virgin!

I have a lot of willing partners but _Eww_ they all annoy the hell out of me and I just hope they'd die! I always wanted to screw _someone_ I just wasn't sure who. But now I know. Great, and out of _everyone_, I end up getting hard over _Naruto_. This _really_ sucks, not only am I gay, but the guy I want to fuck senseless hates my guts. And I think he's _finally_ starting to notice the _one _girl that's head over heels in love with his dumbass. Yeah that's right, it's Hinata Hyuga. Honestly, she's the only girl I wouldn't love to slap the shit out of since she doesn't stalk or piss me off in any way. And unlike my retarded fan girls; she actually has a _life_ and a great body to boot. I never would have guessed that that shy little girl would end up having the _best_ breasts and body shape I have ever seen on an17 year old. Well, maybe I could have _guessed_, but I wouldn't have thought I would be right. In any case, if it weren't for the fact that Naruto turns me on and that I want to just fuck him mercilessly, I'd probably end up wanting to tie Hinata up to my bed and just -

Oops, getting off topic. _Anyways_, Naruto's _actually_ started noticing her. Frankly, it's only because her breasts are like two _huge_ melons but at least she's getting noticed. Although, for the first few weeks (months actually) Naruto would drool all over himself. Wait, he still does that actually... Barely last week his jaw had dropped open and drool began to flow out as he saw Hinata playing basketball. She had a tight top, so you can guess what Naruto was staring at. Um - Well, to be honest, we were both drooling. I mean, _come on_, she was running around, with that shirt, her -

Fuck... I'm off topic again. Well, in any case, they've become pretty good friends.

All of a sudden, someone hits me with a textbook or something on the back of the head, _just_ as I was lifting it up, causing me to slam it back down on my desk. I growled feeling annoyed and a bit of a headache.

"Wake up pervert. The bell's about to ring." I heard a familiar voice say with an emotionless tone.

I tried not to blush as I looked up at Naruto and glared at him. "Stop calling me a pervert you dumb ass!!" I yelled at him faking an angry tone.

Naruto's glare hardened.

My glare hardened also as I turned my body to face him appropriately.

"Naruto! Stop glaring at Sasuke-kun!" my retarded pink haired fan girl Sakura shouted as she punched Naruto on the back of the head. But because of the angle and force of the blow, Naruto was forced forward. But just as we were going to 'accidentally' lock lips Naruto leaned his forehead forward. Bashing his forehead into mine, he felt a bit dizzy and fell onto my lap. He then gripped my shoulders tightly, trying to analyze what just happened.

I stared into Naruto's eyes, realizing how close we were, and that if he had sat just two inches closer he would have known just how hard I was. However, he would have made it worse since he would have rubbed and pressured our groins together.

Naruto froze as he just sat there on my lap, his legs wide open, his tan face and cheeks a faint red color, and just staring at me.

Crap! Holy fucking shit! Somebody please get this dumbass the _hell off of me_! He's blushing and looks adorable up close, and... and... _he's on my lap_! Someone please get him the _hell off me _before I strip him _butt naked _and _fuck him _until he can't stand up!... Wait..._WHAT THE FUCK AM I SAYING?!_ EVERYONE YOU BETTER NOT INTERRUPT THIS MOMENT OR I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL CUT YOU OPEN AND SHOW YOU YOUR GOD DAMN INTESTINES AND -

Sorry, I got a _bit_ off track again...

But I'm not kidding, I really will kill them... just like Sakura when she yanked on Naruto's collar screaming, "_NARUTO! GET THE HELL OFF OF SASUKE!_"

A gagging type noise came out of Naruto's mouth as Sakura pulled on Naruto's collar. He was now holding the collar of his shirt and panting a bit, trying to breath again.

"Leave him alone Sakura!" I snapped at her, knowing that she was ruining the moment. "Maybe if you stop trying to strangle him and get the _fuck away _he'll get off me."

Sakura got a disgustingly dreamy look on her face and quickly released Naruto's collar and backed away a bit. But Naruto just stared at me, wide eyed and surprised about something. I couldn't help but grin.

"Don't tell me you actually want to stay on my lap." I heard myself say as I raised an eyebrow.

Naruto turned a bit red. "Of course not! I'm just surprised your gay ass is blushing!" Naruto said.

"Shut the hell up." I hissed, knowing that I was blushing an even darker color now. "You're the dumbass that doesn't want to get the fuck off me."

"Um, Naruto-kun, Sasuke-kun, is everything alright?" I heard a shy Hinata ask.

"Tell this bitch to get the fuck off me." I said as I turned to Hinata.

"_SHUT UP YOU FUCKING BASTARD!_" Naruto shouted.

"Please Naruto-kun, leave Sasuke-kun alone, I - I - I bet - he - he didn't mean i - it." Hinata pleaded shyly.

"No, I meant it." I said flatly.

Naruto growled at me and punched me on my right cheekbone, forcing my head to hit the window. "_YOU COCKY SON OF A BI_-" Naruto tried to shout at me, but I punched him in his gut, knocking the wind out of him.

"Try that again and you'll be sorry." I warned.

Naruto glared at me and head butted me on the forehead.

I could feel my head spin, or maybe it was the room? Either way, I got dizzy. I then grabbed Naruto's neck and chocked him a bit.

He jerked back, trying to escape my grip. But I didn't let him. Next thing I know, we're on the floor and I'm sitting on Naruto's lap as I punch him.

"Sasuke...it's not right to try to rape people." I heard Kiba say by my left side as he stood next to Hinata who was trying to get me off of Naruto.

"You fucking pervert! I'm not raping anyone! _I'm trying to beat the shit out of this dumbass_!" I snapped as I glared at a grinning Kiba, faking as much anger as I could. Naruto took this as an opportunity to punch me in the gut. I gasped for air as I leaned forward.

"You son of a bi-" I tried to say as I glared at Naruto about to strangle him, but Kiba grabbed me by the back of the neck and forced me to kiss Naruto.

Naruto's eyes widened, he then tried to move but I had him pinned down too well.

I tried to jerk back, as if _'wanting'_ to break the kiss but Kiba held me down.

_I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY THIS_ (not that I'm saying it in the first place) _BUt_ _THANK YOU KIBA! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU, __**YOU PERVERTED COCKY BASTARD!**_

I was trying to act as disgusted and surprised as I could but then I closed my eyes and opened my mouth as I licked at Naruto's bottom lip.

Bright cerulean eyes widened even more as their owner began to squirm, trying to get away from me. I then pinched Naruto's nose closed so he was forced to open his mouth, gasping to get some air. I shoved my tongue down his throat and explored his mouth, but Naruto now had his right arm free and punched me in the ribs as he pushed me off of him.

I grabbed my ribs as I slowly got to my feet. I turned and left leaving a shocked Sakura, Kiba, Hinata and Naruto behind. The bell rang as I walked out the door. I went to my next class, knowing that I had screwed everything up. Naruto hated my guts as it was, and he still probably felt uncomfortable about me seeing him naked, now to top it off I kissed him.

I sighed angrily as I got to my next class.

Shit... This was just a _fucking great day wasn't it?!_

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Hurray! I finished the editing for Chapter 1! And the new title is thanks to my friend Edgar... Thank him! Please Review! I need support to keep editing and writing... -sniff-


	2. Always Say No To Therapy!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own _Naruto _or any of its charaters... (Good thing too, I'd probably make them do crazy porn related things all the time... probably yaoi stuff non-stop... although, maybe that wouldn't be that much of a bad thing, would it?)

**(A/N)** -sigh- Sorry it took me so long to update... again. I've been working on a lot of things lately. I think I might _finally_ have the much awaited mental breakdown that everyone has expected for _years_. Hopefully not, that would mean I wouldn't be able to speak a full sentence without strangling someone! That wouldn't be a good thing now would it? Alright. Well, I hopefully this story is better now... Enjoy!

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_Chapter 2: Always Say No To Therapy!_

For the remainder of the day I just kept on regretting what I had done

For the remainder of the day I just kept on regretting what I had done. I thought of a way to just convince Naruto it was an accident or if I could somehow get him to like me, or seduce him until he finally gave in to me.

Actually, I was mostly thinking of the last one but I wasn't sure how to be alone with him somewhere. My brain would just fast forward to the part where I'd tie him up and fuck him senseless, or I would get him while he was taking a bath or shower. I kept getting irritated with the fact that all I could think about was screwing him but couldn't come up with a good plan to get to that _conclusion_.

I was in my last class, orchestra. I had my eyes closed and was playing the measures we were assigned to practice. I gently rolled my fingertips giving the notes a lively sound as I changed the direction of my bow once again. As I played the last note I rolled my fingertip in a fast pace as I pressured the bow down to the string. Everyone began to applaud. I just put my cello down carefully and looked away from my overly excited teacher. Then, the bell finally rang. I got the hell out of my class wanting to just get home and be alone. But then, a bruised up Naruto ran towards me, as my rabies infested fan girls were chasing him…

Well they're not _really_ rabies infested but with that crazy and evil look in their eyes, and the fact that their mouths are foaming with anger kinda gets you thinking they do...

Naruto quickly hid behind me.

"Sasuke, help me!" he said in a fearful tone. "Come on, tell them! Tell them that the kiss was an accident!".

"What?" I heard myself say.

He actually thinks it was an accident?! _Thank you God! THANK YOU FOR MAKING HIM A __**CLUELESS DUMBASS!**_

"_Tell them it was an accident!_" Naruto pleaded, shaking me a bit.

The girls growled.

"I don't know what you're talking about" I said acting as if I had forgotten what had happened. I was about to leave but Naruto shook me again.

"_Stop acting stupid! YOU FUCKING KISSED ME!_" Naruto shouted.

Shit... He's not that clueless after all.

"What the hell are you - wait... Oh you mean _that_" I said acting as if I had remembered. "That was Kiba's fault.".

All the girls growled out Kiba's name and quickly ran to hunt him down...

Poor guy. Sorry Kiba but if I take credit for it, Naruto will know that I like him for sure. Well _hopefully_ you'll look on the bright side... your dream of getting chased by girls will finally come true. Although, instead of getting _laid_ you might just..._die_

Oh well, one out of two is still ok I guess.

I was about to leave but...

"Hey S - Sasuke...can I - walk with you?" Naruto asked feeling a bit nervous.

I was surprised but quickly said, "whatever" in my usual emotionless tone.

Naruto then began to walk beside me as I walked home. Deep down, I felt a little too happy and excited since I and knew that this was a perfect opportunity to seduce him as soon as we got to my house. However, I couldn't help but feel nervous and confused... Why was he walking home with me in the first place?

"W - why did you do that?" Naruto asked faintly, as he looked away from me.

"Do what?" I asked, feeling nervous.

"I mean" Naruto hesitated. "Forget it". Then he added quickly, "Look the only

reason I came was because your goddamn fan girls will kill me as soon as they find out that I had been sitting on your lap too".

"That's your problem not mine." I said.

"Shut up! That was all your fault too!" Naruto shouted.

"Whatever" I shrugged.

He was pretty ticked off but he kept his mouth shut after that...

Then when we got to a certain intersection he said, "Bye Sasuke.".

"Hey, wait! Come to my place I want to give you something." I said.

"What is it?" Naruto asked with a cute pout.

"You'll see, come on." I said as I kept on walking.

Naruto looked confused, but curiosity got the best of him and he followed me to my

house.

As soon as we got there, I had thought that Naruto would stand outside since he didn't trust me but he came in, admiring my huge house...

"Wow, your house is _huge_" Naruto said looking around.

"Yeah, imagine living here alone." I said.

"I'd be scared shit less. I'd probably end up taking in all the stray cats and dogs I could find just so I wouldn't stay alone"

I chuckled. "You live alone too, but I didn't see any animals in your apartment. Well that is if I don't count your stupid ass as one"

Naruto pouted, "Fuck off!". He looked away. "You're such an asshole."

"And why is that?" I asked.

"Everyone is nice to your bitch ass, but all you ever do is blow them off. It's like you have a stick up your ass all the time".

"It's not like I ask for their fucking kindness"

"Nonetheless, they act nice...while the rest of the guys have to deal with the fact that _EVERY_ girl is in love with you".

"Why the hell are _you_ complaining?! Isn't Hinata your dream girl?!".

"I...I don't know" Naruto said slowly, looking down at the ground. "Something _happened _and I'm not sure anymore".

I raised an eyebrow. "What happened?"

"It's hard to explain" he said, still looking away from me. "What about you? Don't you like a girl?".

"No..." I said flatly, after realizing what I had said I quickly added, "I mean - ! I just haven't met the right girl, you know?".

"Oh, I thought you were gay" Naruto said, feeling surprised. He sounded a bit disappointed for some strange reason too…

I blushed a bit as I glared at him harshly.

Naruto gulped as he noticed my glare. He raised his hands and waved them in front of him frantically. "Come on Sasuke don't be like that! I never saw you actually talking to a girl, even though they'd probably kill someone just so they could date you for even a day. So I - thought you preferred - " Naruto said nervously, he hesitated, "Well, you know.". Naruto smiled, trying to hide his fear.

My face was turning red, but not for the reason Naruto thought. I was blushing, and extremely shocked, knowing that Naruto was right. But I couldn't let him know that. So I glared at him, my red cheeks helping me with my act.

Naruto began to sweat, extremely scared, he kept smiling stupidly as he glanced over at the door.

Then he looked at his watch as he took a deep breath and said, "WelllookatthetimeIhavetogobakecookiesforsomeorphanssoIcanearnenoughmoneysotheycanfinallygetthisponytheyalwayswantedandthey'relittlekidssoIcan'tjustnotshowupwiththeponysincethatwouldshattertheirittybittyheartsthenthey'dgrowuphatingmygutsandbecomeaddictedtodrugsbecausethatponywasn'ttheirtosupportthemthenthey'denduphuntingmedownandkillingmeso_bye_!". By the time he had finished he gasped for air and ran to the door.

I just blinked, confused and trying to figure out what this dumbass just said.

It had something to do with cookies, money, a pony, and orphans killing him. I think...

"What the _hell _did you just say?!" I shouted at him.

He froze as he grabbed the doorknob, now extremely nervous. He turned and looked at me with a smile on his face. "Gotta go!" he said as he swung the door open.

I was really irritated at this point. I grabbed a nearby table lamp and threw it at his head...

_Bull's Eye!_

It hit him right smack dab on the forehead! Naruto froze and then fell on his back and out onto the cement steps completely knocked out.

Oops...

I went over to him and saw that he snored as I poked him.

Well, at least he's still alive...

I looked out and onto the street making sure no one was watching. I then grabbed Naruto by his ankles and dragged him inside. Gently managing to lift him, I laid him on my living room couch. I sighed.

Yes Sasuke, this was the smartest thing you have ever done! Yeah, just try to kill the poor guy then drag his unconscious body to the couch. He'll totally just act like you're not a complete freak and he will _definitely_ not sue your _horny ass!_

I laid my hand on my face and lazily slid it off.

Dammit, _what the hell am I supposed to do now?!_ I knocked Naruto unconscious, dragged him back inside my house and now he's just there sleeping.

_What the fuck am I supposed to tell him when he wakes up?!_

I began to pace around the room nervously, trying to think of something. I snapped my fingers as a _brilliant_ idea came to mind.

"I'll dump ice water on him, causing him to wake up. Then, while confused and cold I'll get him the _fuck_ out of here!" I thought out loud. My eyes widen and I covered my mouth with both hands as I looked over at Naruto, hoping he was still unconscious since I had _'thought'_ a bit _too_ loud (Actually, I kinda blurted it out). I sighed as I noticed he was still sleep. "I need to stop doing that." I thought out loud, again..."_Fuck!_" I pouted as I felt extremely annoyed with myself now.

Testing 1, 2, 3...

Testing 1, 2, 3...

Alright, good. Now that that's fixed I'll have to wake him up!

I happily ran to the kitchen and filled a bucked with cold water. I then poured all the ice cubes from the freezer into the bucket. After a few minutes of waiting for the water to get nice and cold I rolled up my shirt's sleeve and dunked my arm into the water, I immediately pulled it out as I felt the sharp pain of the freezing cold water.

_Fuck! Cold, cold, __**cold!**_

I dried my arm off as I shivered a bit.

Well, that aught to wake him up. Hopefully he won't try to kill me and just run home like the wet dumbass he well be in a few seconds...

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Done! Please review and tell me if I missed anything while editing... I can be forgetful and rather blind at times like that. : D


	3. Dobe Plus Water Equals Sexy

**Disclaimer**: I do not own _Naruto _or any of its charaters... (Good thing too, I'd probably make them do crazy porn related things all the time... probably yaoi stuff non-stop... although, maybe that wouldn't be that much of a bad thing, would it?)

**(A/N)** Well everyone, I finally got some time to update... sorry it took so long (-sigh- again). I hope you guys enjoy it!

* * *

_Chapter 3: Dobe Plus Water Equals Sexy_

I grabbed the bucket and took it to the living room where my blonde little_ 'pet'_ still lay unconscious on the couch. An odd feeling tingled inside me as I saw him. I ignored it, not feeling comfortable with the sensation. I looked at his peaceful and innocent face. He looked cute actually. As I got closer to him the weird feeling in my stomach got worse. I was standing right next to him now, and began to have second thoughts about dumping the cold water on him.

He looked so peaceful just laying there asleep. He looks so cute and innocent. It makes me just wanna -

Then, extremely kinky and dirty images flashed through my head. I shook my head violently.

_What the fuck!? No!_ I can't do that! _I can't!_

I then looked at Naruto again.

On the other hand he is unconscious.

An evil smirk spread across my face. I put the bucket down on the ground and gently ran my fingers through his hair.

It's not like he'll feel most of it anyways.

I bent down as I laid my hands on the sides of his chest and slid them down feeling his well-toned muscles. My left hand got to the bottom of his shirt, I clenched it and tried to stop myself but I couldn't help myself. I kissed him tenderly and hoped that that would do but…

_This might be my only chance to molest him! _What if he wakes up though? It's gonna get extremely awkward! Then if we _do it_ he might just ignore me after that and deny his love for me! Then I'm gonna have to seduce him again but then he'll push me away saying that he loves someone else! Then, I shall grow old and heartbroken while he ends up being one of those many strippers or man whores at the local bar because he needs to earn money to pay the rent of his apartment after his girlfriend left him for the drug addict that's filthy rich down the street...

Uh, what the hell was I talking about again?

Oh, right...

But this is probably going to be the only chance I get to harass him like this. But what if I end up raping him?! Then he'd hate my guts and never speak to me. Then he'd leave the country and -

_Dammit_, I really need to stop doing that. Fine, I'll just molest him a bit. He won't wake up if I just kiss and rub up against him, right? Wait, yeah! _Right!_ So there's nothing to be worried about!

I grinned against Naruto's lips, as I quickly lay on top of him, my left hand now under his shirt. I began to kiss and suck at his neck and collarbone. Now lifting up his shirt I exposed his stomach and chest. I could feel Naruto's body tense up a bit but paid no mind to it. However, just as I kissed and sucked on Naruto's chest I felt him shudder. My eyes widened as I was slapped back down to the reality of the situation. Naruto wouldn't go along with this.

Then I felt Naruto's right hand pat and lay on my head. He began to tangle his fingers in my hair as I looked up at him, his eyes were beginning to open…

Shit! I quickly jumped off of Naruto and grabbed the bucket, then just as Naruto's eyes opened, I was standing right next to him, holding the bucket over him. Turning the bucket upside down I ended up dumping the icy cold water on him.

"_**Ahh!**_ _Cold, cold, cold!_" Naruto shrieked now wide-awake as he jumped off the couch and began to run around the living room. "_**SHIT!**__ So __**fucking**__ cold!_".

Well, isn't this a pretty sight? A soaking wet Naruto running around my living room...

I then got horny again. Unfortunately, Naruto tackled me to the ground.

"_**You bastard!**_" Naruto hissed while shivering. "_What the hell was that for?!_".

"_Get the hell off me!_" I shouted at him as I shivered feeling the icy cold water dripping off of him. I pushed him off of me. I stoop up but Naruto wrapped his arms around my left ankle and bit my leg.

"Sasuke you _asshole!_ _**I'm gonna bite your leg off!**_" He growled around my leg as he then sank his teeth deeper into my flesh.

I tried to pull my leg away but Naruto's grip was too firm (so was his bite freakish bite…).

"You _bitch!_ Let me go!" I shouted at him as I bend down and grabbed his hair. I pulled on it, _hard_. But that just pissed him off even more. He bit even harder into my leg. I could feel the blood drip out from my wound. I desperately grabbed his nose and pinched it closed as I pulled his hair and nose upward. He finally let go of my leg. Naruto flinched thinking that now I had him right where I wanted him but I just threw him down to the ground.

I winced as I tried to walk away but I fell backwards right on my ass. I looked at my wound and noticed it was worse than I thought.

_Fuck_, Naruto bites like a fucking animal. Well, it was worth molesting him... Yup, definitely worth it.

I sighed and laid on my back as I stared up at the ceiling.

What now? Should I apologize?

Damn. I probably should, shouldn't I? I don't want him to stay mad at me...

"Sorry I dumped the cold water on you" I said eventually, feeling a bit awkward.

"W - what?" Naruto asked shocked.

"I'm..._sorry_..." I said, exaggerating the pronunciation. I lifted my right arm and pointed towards the hallway. "There's a bathroom you can change or take a shower in. It's the second door on the right".

My arm dropped down by my side as I just waited for Naruto to yell at me or leave.

"Sasuke" Naruto said feeling a bit guilty now as he wiped my blood from his mouth.

I lifted my head up a bit. "Yeah?" I said.

"I - uh" Naruto hesitated feeling a bit flustered, he looked down at the floor ashamed...but then his eyes widened when he noticed that his shirt had been pulled up, now his tone was oozing with anger, "_What in the blue hell did you do to me?!_"

"Uh...Nothing..." I said nervously, and even a bit flustered. "You pulled it up yourself when you began to feel hot remember?".

Naruto gave me a weird look but nonetheless calmed down.

_Damn straight you better calm down!_ Another point for Uchiha, for being so fucking smooth! _WOOSH!_

"Oh...alright" Naruto said now blushing as he pulled down his shirt. "Umm...I'm" he hesitated as he began to twirl around his fingers. All of a sudden he just spat it out, "_I'm really sorry for biting!_"

There was an awkward silence after that. As I sat up slowly we just stared at each other, both nervous. I looked away from him, he just...looked _too adorable_! Not only was he still dripping wet and freezing cold, he was blushing and _completely _embarrassed!

_Naru-chan!_ Why must you be so _adorable?!_ I just wanna rape you _right now_! Well maybe not _rape_. I'd want you to go along with it! So it's more like I want to - well you know... touch you in pleasurable places and do perverted and kinky things to you that would probably traumatize young children and change their view on gay sex for the rest of their lives. You know something like that. Nothing too out of the ordinary really...

I was now holding myself back with every ounce of self-control I had. Which I must admit to be a lot considering the person I grew up with. But _damn_ this was _really hard_...

**Naruto's P.O.V.**

Stupid Sasuke.

_Why won't he stop staring at me?!_ He's just getting me even more nervous!

All of a sudden, he looks away from me.

_**Finally!**_

I shiver a bit remembering that I was still dripping wet since _Sasuke dumped that cold ass water on me!_

_The tiny bastard! _Why did he dump the water on me in the first place?! Did I _ask_ him to throw that lamp at me and - _Wait! OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD! THAT ASSHOLE KNOCKED ME UNCONSCIOUS DIDN'T HE?! __**YES HE FUCKING DID!**__ AND ONLY GOD KNOWS WHAT KIND OF __**PERVERTED**__ AND __**TWISTED THINGS**__ HE DID TO ME_ -

I imaged Sasuke on top of me and kissing me..._again. _I blushed a dark color as I could tell something like that wouldn't anger me at all.

Actually, I'd be looking forward to it.

_WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING?! WE'RE BOTH GUYS DAMM IT!!_ But I can't help but -

"Naruto" Sasuke said, yanking me out of my thoughts. "It was_ my_ fault, so just - "

"_No! But I shouldn't have provoked you!_"I heard myself protest to him.

Sasuke looked at me a bit shocked but he quickly turned away grinning.

But I could _swear_ that I saw him blush!

"Alright, just go and get out of those wet clothes" he said then looked me in the eyes. "Dobe."

You think you're so smart don't you?! _Well you are!_ And I - _I don't care!_ _You_ - ..._You SMARTY_ - ... _MCSMARTY_ -... _PANTS!_

Damn bastard.

"Shut up!" I said with a pout. "Besides, what the hell am I supposed to wear?! _You got my clothes wet remember?!_"

"It's called, using _you_ clothes instead you moron." he said coolly.

"Well - ...you - ... _BASTARD!_" I said now red faced and fuming with anger. "I - ..._I'm not about to shower in your house! Your perverted ass might walk in on me again!_"

_Shit! _

What the _fuck_ did I just say?! This is _so_ not good...

I stared blankly at Sasuke, waiting for a response.

His face turned a faint red color, he smirked then chuckled a bit.

"Yes Naruto, I would _definitely_ walk in on you taking a shower_ just_ so I could look at you naked _again_" he said in a sarcastic tone, then his smirk turned into a frown. "I would have_ plenty_ of nightmares off of that _alone_, I don't think I need another incident like _that_ to happen so I could possibly be traumatized for life, now do I?".

I glared at him feeling even angry now.

Sasuke you cocky, smart, _son of a bitch!_ You have _no_ idea how much I would just _love_ to beat the fucking shit out of you right now! But I can't. That would mean I have to get close to him. Touch him. I -

... I might just want to end up kissing him...

No matter how much of an asshole he is,

I can't hate him.

No matter how many times he insults me or puts me down,

I can't beat him.

No matter how many girls I've seen him with,

I can't get over him.

... I can't help but feel attracted to him. And I don't know why...

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Yaay! Complete with the editing of yet another chapter! Now to go work... again... damn. Please let me know if I let anything slip! Thanks and until next time, Ja Ne!


	4. Mornings Weren't Ment For Sex

**Disclaimer**: I do not own _Naruto _or any of its charaters... (Good thing too, I'd probably make them do crazy porn related things all the time... probably yaoi stuff non-stop... although, maybe that wouldn't be that much of a bad thing, would it?)

**(A/N)** Once again! One more chapter has been successfully updated! Hurray! Enjoy!

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_Chapter 4: Mornings Weren't Ment For Sex_

"_Fuck you!_" I yelled at him now getting up and rushing towards the door. "If I'm such a bother I'll just lea - ". Next thing I know I fall face first into the floor after Sasuke rams his shin against mine.

"Go take a shower and get changed dammit!" Sasuke snapped, untangling his foot from mine. "Stop being so _fucking_ stubborn! You're going to get sick if you go out like that!"

"Fine, dickhead!" I spat. I pouted as I got up and went to the bathroom.

I locked the door and turned to the shower. As I turned the knob for the hot water I realized how cold I really was.

"_Fuck!_" I shouted at the top of my lungs. "So _fucking _hot!".

I yanked my now red arm away from the water. I moved my fingers and noticed that they were a bit numb. Removing my cold and wet clothes and carelessly dropped them to the floor, a shiver went up my spine, and goose bumps appeared all over my wet and exposed skin. I climbed into the shower and stood there, the warm water hitting my pruny and chilly body.

Why the hell am I doing this?! I'm at Sasuke's house and taking a shower _because he dumped cold fucking water on me!_

Stupid bastard. Dickhead. Asshole. _Why can't I hate his guts dammit!?_

Fuck, I feel like one of his fan girls now. He's a jerk but something about him holds me back from ripping that pretty little face of his to shreds. Or maybe it's just because his face is just _too pretty_. I mean, it's like _really _pretty. Not the everyday kind of pretty either. It's like when you see some snotty nosed rich girl _finally _take a goddamn shower and like wearing a cute dress. You know, those puffy, short, future-slut kind of dresses. And with a big ass bow on their heads. The ones you just wanna yank at to piss the hell out of them. And then those _freakishly _shiny shoes! The ones that blind you if you look directly at them! I did that once actually, I _swear _I was blinded for like a _fucking week!_ What kind of shit do they put on those shoes anyways?! Blind-your-eyes-clean kind of _acid_ or something?! Or do they just spit on them enough to get them that way? But then, they'd smell – _Oh my fucking God!_ What if they _really do_ spit on them?! _That's why they smell so bad the longer you've had them! __**It's the spit!**_

Eww. That's _really_ fucking gross.

Hey...

What was I talking about?

Oh yeah! Sasuke's freakishly pretty face.

Well it's _so freaking pretty though!_ I bet you could dress the guy up in a fucking dress with a stuffed bra and you'd mistake him for a girl!! Actually I thought he was a girl the first time I ever saw him, but since we were little the only way we could tell who was a girl or boy was by what they wore, their face, or whether or not they had balls we could kick. But I wasn't sure about the first two. So I kicked him in the balls and ran for my life. But then he ran after me and beat the shit out of me. That day I learned _never_ to figure out who was a boy by kicking them in the balls. _Especially_ if they can beat your ass. Otherwise, _go for it!_

Well, in any case, this bastard is such a pain. Every time he's with me I get this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. Like it's hyper or on crack or something and just keeps squirming, but I've never been able to figure out why it feels that way.

I finally finished my shower. Getting out of the shower after I turned off the water I looked around for a towel.

"Hey Sasuke!! Where're the towels?!" I asked hoping Sasuke could hear me.

"Look in the cabinets" came Sasuke's voice. "The clothes should be there too".

Looking around in Sasuke's many cabinets, I finally found the towels and clothes...

God_ damn_! That took forever to find! How many cabinets could one fucking guy need anyway!? Not like he needs the extra space! He doesn't have anything in them! It's all full of emptiness! Just like his black heart! Gosh, and how much emo clothes does the little bastard have exactly!? Look at his clothes! They're all either black or some dark color that even makes _me_ wanna cut my veins! Damn! Even his _underwear_ is black!

I blushed as I noticed it was his underwear.

Wait. This means Sasuke probably wore this... And right against his -

_No! _Don't think about that Naruto!

I quickly dried myself off and put Sasuke's clothes on without another thought. Leaving the bathroom and found Sasuke in the living room cleaning up his wound as something lay beside him. Then, Sasuke took out this really bit band aid and covered up his wound.

Man, that is one big band aid! Just the kind that I used to have on my knees all the time because I was such a klutz. Afterwards, I got so used to having them on I'd just get them for the hell of it! I'd go crazy and put them all over my body! It got weird when I put them on my wrists though (they felt pretty weird on my penis too actually). Iruka-sensei just looked at me and started yelling at me for no reason! Everyone started calling me emo so I'd just flick them off and leave. Iruka-sensei stole my band aids and never gave them back. Then he took my money so I couldn't get more! He's so mean sometimes...

After Sasuke had made sure the band aid wouldn't move, he got up and tried to walk a bit but he was limping.

I began to feel guilty all over again. "Sorry..." I said, feeling the full extent of my shame.

Sasuke looked up at me a bit surprised. He grinned. "Don't worry about it" he said. Then he mumbled, "It was worth it"

"What did you say?" I asked not quite catching what he had mumbled.

"Look, this is what I wanted to give you" he said, getting the object from the couch, ignoring my question. He went over to me and put it in my hands.

"An alarm clock?" I heard myself say as I examined the used alarm clock in my hands. I saw some dents. The owner had an issue with waking up or was just too abusive...

"It's mine." Sasuke said.

Well that explains _a lot _about the dents.

"Why are you giving it to me?" I asked looking up at Sasuke.

"So you'll stop complaining about me going to your place and waking your ass up. But, since you have_ my_ alarm clock you'll have to wake _me_ up from now on" Sasuke said.

"_What?!_" I heard myself shout.

Sasuke then began to push me towards the door. "You better wake me up precisely at 7 o'clock or I'll beat your ass to a bloody pulp" he said as he opened the door and pushed me out.

I began to walk home wondering about what had just happened. But most importantly, _why?_

**Sasuke's P.O.V.**

Naruto is now out of my house! _Yes!_

I laid against the door and sighed.

Now all I need to figure out is, how to seduce him without getting him scared...

Or making him end up hating my guts...

_Shit_, this is going to be _extremely _hard.

My mind continued to wander, trying to come up with a situation that would get me to my - ahem - _goal_. Next thing I know I was locking the front door and eventually looking up at the ceiling of my room as I laid on my bed.

Less and less sunlight came in through my bedroom window giving everything inside a darker and lonesome appearance. My eye lids began to weigh down. Finally, I sighed and turned onto my side. Although I was a bit annoyed that I couldn't come up with a _single_ plan that came _close_ to being realistic enought to something. I cursed with a yawn as I closed my eyes and fell into a deep slumber.

**Next Morning**

"Hey Sasuke" someone whispered as they shook me.

I groaned and turned to my other side, pulling the sheets over my head as I closed my eyes tight.

"Sasuke get your lazy ass up!" I heard that person hiss.

"Piss off!" I growled, my voice still a bit uneven since I hadn't fully woken up yet. I could feel the person climb on top of my bed and shake me. But no use. I wouldn't get up. All they were doing was pissing me off even more.

"Alright! Stay in bed then!" the person shouted, then paused for a moment. "I don't care that it's 8 o'clock already and there's no _way_ for you to actually get to school on time!"

"_WHAT_?!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, my eyes wide open as I shot up out of bed and glared at a smirking Naruto.

"It's barely 6:52 dickhead!" Naruto said while laughing. "_**MAN**_! _You should have seen your face!_ That was _priceless!_"

"_Piss off!_" I shouted at him, my face red as I threw my pillow at him.

That's when I heard something growl loudly and an awkward silence fell between us.

_What the fuck was that?!_ Did something just _die?!_

"What the hell was that?" I asked, feeling suspicious and rather freaked out.

"Sorry... that was me. I'm hungry" Naruto said sheepishly.

"Well, go get something to eat dobe." I said with a straight face.

"No it's alright." Naruto said now getting off my bed and walking over to the door. "I'll see you at school then".

I was about to tell him not to go but I stopped myself knowing there was no point in asking him to stay. It would just make him suspicious.

He probably wouldn't figure it out since he's such a dumbass. But I don't want to risk it. Who knows just how stupid and clueless he really is...

**Naruto's P.O.V.**

I walked to school absent mindedly, remembering what had happened yesterday at school. I could feel my face turn red as I pictured Kiba forcing Sasuke's lips onto mine.

Dammit Kiba, why the hell did you have to do that?! _You freak! _I can't believe that that actually happened.

My ears began to turn pink as I also remembered Sasuke's reaction to it. I slapped my left hand onto my face, wanting to forget what had happened.

Sasuke you sick bastard! Just because Kiba made us kiss doesn't mean you had to - TO DO _THAT_! Wait, why the hell_ did_ he - do _that?_

My hand slid down and off my face as I felt confused and rather shocked.

It's not like he _had_ to. He wasn't forced to _fucking shove his tongue in my mouth!_

I blushed a crimson color.

Well on the other hand, it wasn't _that_ bad...

_**WAIT!**_

_That's not the point!_ _I'M_ A GUY AND _HE'S_ A GUY, THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL I'M LETTING HIM DO IT AGAIN!

...

_WHAT THE FUCK AM I SAYING_!? I - I _NEVER_ EVEN _LET HIM_ DO IT IN THE FIRST PLACE! AND IF HE DOES THAT _ONE MORE TIME I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL HIM_!

I looked down at the ground in shame, not being able to believe that in some sick, disturbing way - I had actually liked it.

All of a sudden someone grabs me by the shoulders and roughly yanks me towards them. I jumped a bit, not expecting something this sudden to happen.

"Hey Naru-chan!" a cocky Kiba said in my ear.

I shivered out of disgust as I felt his breath against my ear and neck.

"Back off" I said under my breath as I pushed him away.

"Oh, come on Naruto, you know you like it." Kiba said in a low seductive voice as he gripped my left shoulder with his left hand and pressured the right side of his chest against my right arm. He rested his chin on my shoulder.

"No, I'd rather rip my eyes out than even _look_ at you." I said coldly, getting goose bumps as I tried to get away from Kiba.

Kiba frowned but quickly smirked. "Well, what about Sasuke? You were having fun with him yesterday after all." he said slyly.

My face turned crimson as I pushed Kiba off me. "Shut up! _You were the one that made me kiss him you fucking asshole!_" I shouted at him.

Kiba chuckled. "_I'm_ a _'fucking asshole'_? That's a new one Naru-chan" he said slyly. Kiba held his chin with his index finger and thumb. "Did you get the idea from Sasuke fucking yours?"

My ears and face went scarlet as those words rang in my head.

I punched Kiba as hard as I could on the head, "_Of course not you disgusting bastard!_" I shouted at him feeling indignated. I then turned and walked in a much faster pace, leaving a hurt Kiba on the ground.

_That cocky son of a bitch!_ How... _HOW DARE HE SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT!?_ That disgusting minded _FREAK!_ I hope he falls in a ditch and fucking _DIES!_ And gets eaten by rabid squirrels! Yeah. I hope he gets chased around by them, screaming for his mom while he cries and the squirrel'll laugh maniacally _and bites his god damn ass!_ Heh - heh, that'd be badass. Even better if he got bitten in the balls. It'd be painful, but _hilarious_, H-I-L... uh... arious!

Hey, what was I talking about?...

Wait. _Right_, Kiba...

I blushed as Kiba's words replayed in my head.

That stupid son of a bitch. I would _never do it _with Sasuke. _Never!_

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Psha! Complete once more my loves! Now to do work... before I am strangled for my lack of effort. Until next time, Ja Ne!


	5. Insane? Who You Callin' Insane?

**Disclaimer**: I do not own _Naruto _or any of its charaters... (Good thing too, I'd probably make them do crazy porn related things all the time... probably yaoi stuff non-stop... although, maybe that wouldn't be that much of a bad thing, would it?)

**(A/N) **Done! Again! -sniff- I'm getting closer and closer to updating everything... I'm gonna have to start thinking of what happens next... Crap! Oh well, I'm sure I'll come up with something! Until that time, I'm gonna keep editing! Hopefully nothing gets past me... grr. Enjoy!

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_Chapter 5: Insane? Who You Callin' Insane?_

By this time I was at school and going to my first period. As I entered the classroom, I headed to the back of the room, sitting in the desk in the back row against the wall. I dropped my bag beside the chair and just lay my head down on my arms as I closed my eyes, hoping I could get some sleep. Well, up until some one slammed something on my head of course, and eventually pressured my face to the desk.

"Wake up dipshit" a familiar voice said.

"_Piss off_!" I mumbled into the desk as I swung my arms around trying to hit this familiar person.

"No thank you." he said coolly, now removing the hard object from my head.

I looked up at Sasuke and glared at him. "What the hell do you want?" I asked coldly, wanting him to leave.

He shrugged. "Just felt like bugging you" he said coolly as he then sat in front of me.

"Well, now that you have succeeded that, can you kindly go kill yourself for me?" I said coldly now looking out the window.

"My, my, someone's in a bitchy mood today aren't we?" Sasuke said, his expression indifferent.

"Shut up" I said, laying my head on the desk again.

He sighed, "I didn't want to do the 'big sister' crap here, but what the hell, want to talk about it?" he said, sounding regretful.

"No" I said flatly.

Sasuke took out a book and began reading, as if feeling relieved. "Good, I didn't feel like listening." he said bluntly.

"You're such a dickwad" I growled. I then mumbled, "I can't believe I actually _like_ you"

"What was that?" Sasuke asked, now looking at me.

I tensed up a bit. "_You're a dickwad_!!" I bellowed.

"I heard that the first time, what was that last part? It had to do something with you not being able to believe something or other." he said curiously.

"...Nothing... It's none of your business" I managed to say.

"Well, it obviously had something to do with me. So it_ is_ my business." he said coolly.

I hesitated a bit. "... Since when do you care so much what I think of you?" I asked.

"I don't..." Sasuke said after a moment's hesitation.

I looked up at him with a straight face. "So then... Why the hell do you want to know?" I asked coolly.

Sasuke hesitated, but then went back to reading his book looking rather mad. I smirked and just lay my head on the desk again...

For once I finally beat you at your own game! _Ha!_

**Sasuke's P.O.V.**

_That sneaky son of a bitch!_ He fucking got me! _That dumbass got me!_ I wish I could just punch that fucking smirk of his into his damn face! _THAT PAINFULLY ADORABLE FACE OF HIS_!! GRRR, I'M SO FUCKING PISSED RIGHT NOW I COULD JUST -

_Dammit! I don't even know what the hell I would do to him!_

_GRR!_

_I'D JUST LOVE TO SLAP HIM UNTIL HE TURNS PURPLE! TIE HIM UP TO SOME__METAL POLLS AND BEET HIM SO FUCKING_ _HARD I_ -

I could hear his screams in my head at that moment. I could feel myself harden as I then imagined him moaning. Kinky thoughts engulfed my mind at that moment. _Angry kinky thoughts._

ARGH! _I'M GONNA FUCK HIM SO HARD HE'LL SCREAM MY NAME OUT UNTIL HE - _

**Naruto's P.O.V.**

I remained in a slumber like state for a while. I had figured that Sasuke had eventually gotten over me beating him but...

"Sasuke-kun!" I heard Sakura say as she ran over to him. "Um, are you ok?".

I looked up, knowing something was wrong since Sakura didn't sound very I-wanna-screw-Sasuke-ish.

Holy...shitsicles... This...is...not...good... I...don't...feel...safe... Sasuke...looks... _SO_...fucking...scary... Thank...God... I...haven't... wet...myself..._ YET_...

Sasuke still had his book on his lap but you could probably tell that he wasn't reading since he was gripping it like he was trying to strangle it.

In my opinion that wouldn't work since it's not really _alive_. Well anyway, then there was _his face_. Yes, I've said it's pretty. Which it is, but he was smiling sorta like a _serial killer _after well, _he just fucking killed _someone. Or even worse, _**when**__ he's fucking killing someone!_

His eyes were wide as if feeling a bit too excited about something. So just picture that in your head and I bet you'll have as many nightmares as I will.

"S - Sasuke?" I managed to say.

He slowly turned his head to look at me with both his of his _freaky_ eyes and _serial killer_ smile.

_SON OF A BITCH KNOCK IT OFF!_ DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW _FUCKING CREEPY_ YOU LOOK!? DAMMIT I'M _SO FUCKING SCARED_ RIGHT NOW I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF I CRAPPED MY PANTS _WITHOUT EVEN FUCKING KNOWING!_ YOU BETTER NOT PULL AN _EXORCIST KIND OF SHIT_ AND _TWIST YOUR ENTIRE FUCKING HEAD AROUND_ 'CAUSE I SWEAR I'LL GET SOME GASOLINE _AND LIGHT YOU ON FUCKING FIRE!_

I gulped as Sasuke got up and walked over to me. I could feel myself shake as he leaned closer to me. I punched him in the face, no longer able to take the fact that he might _fucking kill me!_

"_LEAVE ME ALONE!_ I - I GO TO CHURCH DAMMIT!!" I bellowed making a cross with my index fingers and waving my 'cross' around frantically. "MAY THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPEL YOU, _MAY THE POWER OF FUCKING CHRIST COMPEL YOU!_" I opened my eyes dropped to my knees and looked upwards and began to_ fucking_ cry. "_I'M SORRY JESUS,_ I DIDN'T MEAN TO SAY THAT! _PLEASE DON'T LET HIM KILL ME!_"

Sasuke staggered back and shook his head trying to, oh I don't know, _figure out how to kill me!?_

He growled, now you can probably tell how pissed off he is. If not I'll give you an example, two years ago, a guy accidentally spilled his juice or something all over Sasuke's English paper. The guy got cocky and started saying shit. And for the first time in my life, I heard Sasuke growl, and lets just say that at the end of that day, the cocky guy that ruined Sasuke's English paper went to the hospital. He had gotten beaten, weapons used; the perp's feet to stomp and kick, the perp's hands to punch and strangle, a chair, desk, the victim's own school bag, but then the victim was thrown down the stairs on his face from the top step of the third floor, all the way down to the base of the first floor. There were no witnesses and to _this day _the perp hasn't been '_found_'.

So yeah, you've guess it... I'm fucking _dead_.

Dear God,

I know I've probably been a pain in the ass - neck - or whatever the hell you have. But please all I ask is for you to answer one question for me when I die. The _legendary_ question. You already know what I'm talking about but, what the hell, I'll say it anyway... _HOW THE HELL DO THE MAGICIANS DO THAT DAMN TRICK OF TAKING A FUCKING RABBIT OUT OF AN EMPTY FUCKING HAT?! _Dude, that is just fucking _torture_ to me! I've asked _so many_ magicians that question and they always give me the same shit! It's either that, 'Magicians don't reveal their secrets' or 'What will you give me for it?'. So God, _YOU BETTER NOT BE LIKE THOSE ASSHOLES AND LET ME SUFFER LIKE THAT ALRIGHT?!_ I mean come _on_, I wanna know how they fucking do it! Do you have any idea how cool it would be to have a pet whenever the hell you want?! It'd be like, 'Hey guess what? I've got my fucking pet in my _HAT_!'! But the best thing is the _RABBIT WON'T DIE IN IT 'CAUSE IT LIVES THERE!_ Because trust me, I tried having my hamster in my hat but it didn't work out well. A lot of times it would run away and when I finally got it to stay by taping'm down. Let's just say I found that hat in my closet a few years later. So you can guess what happened to Nibbles... I miss him.

Well, bye. God, I'll see you soon since Sasuke's probably gonna kill me. Oh, and please tell my old pets I'll be there soon, and to not be mad... Sorry Nibbles, Fluffy, Mr.Fatty, Mrs. Fatty, Mr. and Mrs. Fatty's over 100 or so horny kids, Wiggly, Giggles, Ziggles, and whatever other iggle retarded names I put on you guys, Spot, Dot, Daisy, Rover, Goldie, Ms. Lazy, Mr. Lazyass and Mrs. Fatass sorry I named you that, by that time I had started to cuss, anyway, on with the list - know what never mind. _Gomen_ for kinda causing your deaths. As horribly painful and slow as they were. _I'm sorry everyone!_

Sasuke grabbed my wrists roughly and yanked me forward forcing me to stand up. He glared at me, his eyes giving off a mixture of lust and anger as I looked into them. I gulped again, knowing that I was in some deep shit trouble...

But then...

"Go away Sakura" Sasuke said, not even bothering to look at her.

I blinked a few times, wondering why he hadn't started to pound on me yet.

"W - What? Why?" she asked, feeling hurt.

"Because I said so. This is none of your business, so _leave_"

Then - without another word - Sakura left.

Sasuke leaned closer to me and whispered in my ear, "Stop acting so damn scared of me. I wasn't going to hurt you, you dumbass. I was going to do quite the contrary"

I shivered, enjoying Sasuke's hot breath against my neck and ear. "W - What were you going to do to me?" I whispered back.

I could guess that Sasuke was smirking now since he didn't respond. But then, I gasped slightly as he nibbled on my ear...

_Holy shit, _is he actually doing what I think he's doing?! Wait... _Ahh_... Yeah, he is...

My eyes were only slightly open as Sasuke trailed down my neck.

Damn... _Sasuke_...

This... feels _good_...

I bit my lip, trying to suppress a moan as Sasuke sucked on my neck tenderly. He then wrapped his arms around my waist.

Suddenly, just as I was going to give in, I heard people in the background.

My eyes shot open and I pushed Sasuke away regretfully. Knowing that there were more people in the room I tried to act disgusted and mad, my flushed face helping with my act.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" I hissed softly so only Sasuke could hear.

Sasuke shrugged, his expression indifferent.

"_Uchiha_! Collect your things and sit at the front of the class! _Now!_" we heard Kakashi-sensei shout.

Sasuke rolled his eyes but did as he was told. I just sat back in my seat, my cheeks still flushed.

As the bell rang and Kakashi-sensei began his '_lecture_', I couldn't help but think about Sasuke. I gazed at him and just wondered if he had completely lost his mind. Maybe he had. What other explanation could there be for him to act like that with _me_ of all people? Yeah, that's it. That's the only logical explanation. Sasuke has finally gone insane...

**Sasuke's P.O.V.**

_WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING?!_ AM I GOING _INSANE_ OR SOMETHING?! WHY DIDN'T I HAVE ANY _FUCKING SELF CONTROL_?! _ANY AT ALL_?! I WAS READY TO _FUCK HIM ON THE SPOT BACK THERE_! This is pure torture dammit! _TORTURE I SAY_! He's just so-so-so..._ fuckable! _But I can't_ do it_ with him!

I sniffed and hung my head in depression as I desired my kitsune more and more...

* * *

Nyuuuu! Complete once more! I hope you guys enjoyed it! Until next time, Ja Ne!


	6. Skanks Are Taking Over The World!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own _Naruto _or any of its charaters... (Good thing too, I'd probably make them do crazy porn related things all the time... probably yaoi stuff non-stop... although, maybe that wouldn't be that much of a bad thing, would it?)

**(A/N)** Hurray! I'm done! Sorry it took so long! Enjoy!

* * *

_Chapter 6: Skanks Are Taking Over The World!_

I _really_ need to learn to control myself. Well, he didn't look like he hated it that much though so maybe it wasn't a complete loss. And he didn't punch me when he pushed me away either, so once again, some progress. Maybe I should act like I've lost my mind and killed someone more often? I didn't mean to scare him but I got some great ideas for kinky sex!

_**HELL YEAH!**__ HURRAY FOR KINKY SEX!_

"_Hurray!_" I heard myself shout, my arms up in the air, a huge smile on my face and a huge erection in my pants...

_**CRAP!**_

I slapped my hands onto my mouth, my cheeks and face red from embarrassment, while my eyes were wide and full of regret.

"I don't believe having half of our soldiers die in our war against Suna to be a cheerful subject" Kakashi-sensei said giving me a strange look.

"Er... I know - but um - " I said slowly, not sure how in the _blue hell _I was going to cover up for this. "I was - um - preparing myself for what happened next. I'm hoping to cheer up after that thing about our soldiers dieing" I raised my right arm and bent and stretched out my arm repeatedly in a cheering way. "You know. That thing, at that place, with those people..." I trailed off as Kakashi just gave me a blank look at this point.

Oh _shit_ I'm _so_ screwed...

"You _do_ realize that what happened next was the first and worst massacre in Konoha's history, right?" Kakashi asked stiffly.

_Oh my fucking God..._

_**What kind of shit have I gotten myself into this time?!**_

_Just kill me now dammit!_

That's when the little voice inside my head said '_No invisible fly to help you this time Sasuke, you jackass_...'.

All I could think of at that point was, 'I know... I know... My stupidity will kill me one day'

'_Actually, I think your hormones are doing a rather fine job of that on their own_...'

I gave a mental nod, knowing that I was screwed...

"Erm. Well, we learned from our mistakes right?" I asked softly in a hopeful tone.

Kakashi huffed. "If you mean we used that ambushing technique against them then, yes." Kakashi said carefully.

"Yeah, that's exactly what I meant!" I said feeling a bit better now.

Kakashi just looked at me blankly. I gave him a serious expression as I hid my true feelings of utter embarrassment and self loathing.

"...In any case, I'd like to speak to you after class..." Kakashi said, his tone unbelievably cold. "Well, on with the lesson...". But after that I lost interest and simply escaped to my own little world, letting Kakashi's voice trail off into nothing in my head.

This isn't good, I wonder what he's gonna do to me exactly. If he even _thinks_ about touching me I swear I'm gonna kill him. Painfully and slowly. God damn pedophile, what the hell are you planning?

After class was over and the rest of the students left I went up to Kakashi hoping our talk wouldn't take long.

"So what do you want exactly?" I asked.

"Is something bothering you Sasuke?" Kakashi asked, sounding worried.

"No" I said a bit surprised and suspicious.

"Are you feeling well?" Kakashi asked.

What the hell is this weirdo getting at? "Yeah" I said slowly.

"..."

"What?! _Stop staring at me and just tell me what you have to tell me!_... freak"

"_What was that last part!?_"

"Nothing. Just tell me what you wanted to tell me."

"Do you - Are you interested in Naruto Uzumaki? Or rather, are you attracted to him?"

My face turned crimson as I shook my head and stepped away from him. I began to pace and walk around the room nervously. "Have you _lost your mind!? _Do you have _any idea who you're talking to!? _I'm _Sasuke Uchiha _dammit! How could you _possibly_ ask - _No! _How could you even _think _that I - I'd be _attracted_ to _**Naruto!?**_" I bellowed. "Are you suggesting that I _like _him!? That I'm _attracted_ to him _physically!? _That I'm _gay_ and want to _screw him senseless!?_". I blinked a few times...

_**HOLY SHIT...**_

I flapped my arms around. "_Well I'm not! So - Forget I even said that!_"

After a short silence, Kakashi began to chuckle. "Right. I wasn't suggesting anything at all Sasuke. But thank you for clearing that up for me. You may go now. I wouldn't want you to be late to your class" he said casually, now turning away from me and preparing his things for his next class.

I grabbed my things and ran out of the classroom.

_SON OF A BITCH!_ I - I CAN'T BELIEVE I SAID THAT! TO _HIM _NO LESS! _DAMMIT!_ I have to keep my mouth shut about this from now on.

This can't get worse can it? -

_BAM!_

"Oi Uchiha. Watch it" Neji said as I staggered back, realizing that I had rammed right into him as soon as I had gotten out of the classroom.

"You watch it!" I said, my voice weak.

"Wait - " he said now grabbing my arm before I could get away. Neji looked me in the eyes for a long moment. Then, suddenly, he began to laugh. "Holy shit, you really are gay aren't you?"

As Neji's words sunk in I could feel my face turn crimson again. "_I'm not!_" I bellowed, feeling outraged. I took a deep breath and forced myself to relax. "I just..." I trailed off.

"Denial's the first stage" he said with a sigh. "Don't worry you'll get over it, I did after all."

"_Shut up! _I'm - _wait_..." I said then stopped and blinked a few times before I realized what Neji just said. "_What?!_"

"I'm gay" he said flatly.

I twitched inwardly and tried not to gag, since at that moment, the only thing that possibly crossed my mind was, _'Is he...trying to hit on me?!'_.

My eyebrows rose as I whistled and looked away.

"Time for me to go-" I said in my I-gotta-get-the-hell-away-from-him voice. Hell, I was about to run away as if my very life depended on it and not look back for _shit_.

"Not so fast," he said grabbing my arm again. "Look, just tell him you want to have sex with him already. It's not like he'll say no or be a little pansy about it and ignore you. Besides, Naruto's never been all that- "

"_How did you know it was _- " I shouted but then I slapped my hand over my mouth, wanting to just _kill_ myself right then and there. "Forget I said that."

"I heard you shout it at the top of your lungs at Kakashi-sensei. So I believe that's going to be a bit hard at this point. In any case, Naruto's never been that _straight_ alright? If you're worried about him finding out, don't be. Just make sure you say what you feel at the right time and place, if you do that right I guarantee you a good fuck." he said then patted me in the back.

"Right..." I said slowly in my sarcastic disbelieving voice. "Bye bye now...". I left to my class after that and thankfully got there on time.

For the remainder of my classes Neji's words kept repeating in my head...

...

After my final class, I walked down the empty hall to find my locker.

Well, that explains a lot actually. I always wondered why Neji never paid much attention to girls. Damn... Why didn't I notice before? Hey, wait. Why did he sound so _experienced?_

Son of a bitch... Then, who the hell was his _fucking partner_?!

On second thought... I don't wanna know.

I'm gonna have disturbing - yet somehow hot - images of Neji having sex with other guys.

I shivered feeling a bit _too_ disturbed now.

I slammed my locker shut now that I had everything I needed for my homework. I sighed and walked down the empty hallway trying to think about something else, _anything_ else really, since_ sex_ isn't -

_MOTHER FUCKER!_ GET THE _HELL OUT_ OF MY HEAD DAMMIT!

I began to pull on my hair as I tried to get the image of Naruto _naked_ on his back on my _FUCKING BED_, MOANING _'AHH - S - SASUKE - MMMORE_', out of my _FUCKING HEAD_. DAMMIT GOD WHY THE _HELL_ AM I SUCH A _FUCKING PERVERT_ WHEN IT COMES TO THAT! COULDN'T YOU OF MADE ME FUCKING _**NORMAL**_ AND A _DUMBASS_ LIKE EVERYONE ELSE?!

Know what, never mind. I take that back, I rather be a smart pervert than a complete dumbass... Well, thanks. I guess.

That's when I heard it...

"Hey, did you hear that that idiot Naruto went home with Sasuke yesterday?" a girl said to her friend in the other corridor.

"Yeah, after they _kissed! _I can guess what those perverts were doing!" the other girl said harshly.

"He was also seen leaving Sasuke's house this morning! This girl that lives close to that idiot also saw that Sasuke's been going to Naruto's apartment a bit too much. They say that Iruka-sensei put Sasuke up to it since the idiot can't wake up on his own, but that's a bunch of bullshit in my opinion. Who in there right mind would help that complete dumbass out if they weren't getting something in return?" the girl hissed back.

"I told you he was a fag. You didn't believe me so just shut up already. Uchiha has every girl after him but he's never paid attention to _anyone_. Well, except for that jackass Uzu - " the girl said but was cut off.

"_Shut up!_" another girl shouted.

My eyes widened at that moment.

That sounds just like -

"_You have no right to talk about Sasuke and Naruto like that! So shut your traps now or I'll do it for you!_" she continued.

I smirked knowing that she was a gutsy person after all.

"Is that right? Yeah, _whatever!_" the girls roared with laughter. Their voices became dark as they hissed, "You better back off before you get your ass beaten"

I slammed my hand onto the lockers as I went into the corridor and looked at the shocked girls. Smirking to myself I also saw an unusually angry _Hinata._

But of course, she calmed down and looked a bit surprised as soon as she saw me.

"Touch her and I guarantee that I'll _personally_ make sure that your lives become a living hell" I said coldly. "As for that so called _idiot_, Naruto - you better keep your fucking mouth shut and not _dare_ even _think_ that again. He's smarter than you _retarded_ girls put _fucking together! _And stop being so _fucking nosy you pathetic imbeciles!_ Are your lives _so pitiful_ that you have to talk about people you _don't even fucking know!?_ And why the hell am I so fucking interesting to you lesbians? Or are you just jealous that I'm prettier than you ugly Frankenstein's monsters put together?"

One of the girls glared at me while the other's eyes began to water.

"Alright pretty boy, you're pissed. They get it" Naruto said dryly as he got out of one of the classrooms. "You don't have to make them cry. Just 'cause they're ugly and stupid doesn't mean you have to _tell _them". He looked at them, an angry expression on his face. "So shut the hell up and get a fucking life! _And don't you dare shout at Hinata like that! _You bitches don't even deserve to _look_ at her! She's _better_ than you worthless, ugly, stupid, and lifeless morons"

They growled at Naruto wanting desperately to rip his throat out.

"Back off and go away, your ugly selves are going to give me nightmares" I said now looking away from them.

The girls left in a flash saying that they would get even eventually.

"Hey, Sasuke... Hinata... Thanks" Naruto said softly, now looking at us.

Our eyes widened slightly at that moment. A faint blush appeared on my cheeks while Hinata's turned a blood red color. We both looked away trying to hide our flushed states.

You adorable little freak! Must you be cute at a time like this? _You made me fucking blush! _Better shake this off.

"Whatever" I said sounding blunt. "I wasn't doing it for you."

"_Shut up!_ I'm trying to be nice dammit! Just accept it already!" Naruto shot back. He tried to calm down but quickly added, "And _please_ don't _ever _refer to yourself as being pretty again, that was just flat out creepy"

"If I recall correctly you called me '_Pretty Boy' _didn't you?" I said.

"So?" Naruto pouted.

"Whatever" I sighed looking away from Naruto's adorable expression.

There was a tense silence between us - until Hinata finally broke it.

"Well, you are really pretty Sasuke-san" she said softly looking at me intently.

I gave her a weird look. "Uh. Thank... You?" I said not sure what she meant by it.

"I mean it in a good way!" Hinata said feeling a bit guilty now. "Some girls are always talking about you... in a good way of course! Everyone thinks you're pretty!"

Ok... that's really creepy. To make matters weirder it's coming out of _Hinata's_ mouth which also happens to make it worse... ish.

"So... You talk to his fan girls?" Naruto asked sounding a bit jealous.

Hinata blushed and jumped a bit as he said it. Looking down at the ground she said, "Well I don't, it's just hard to concentrate on something else while they're shouting it right beside you. S - Sorry Naruto-kun"

"Oh... No. It's alright" Naruto said with a blush on his face as he looked down at the ground feeling shy.

_What the fuck is going on!?_

Naruto gulped. "So, Hinata can we go back to the classroom and - erm - finish up our _work?_" Naruto said now looking at Hinata, a confident smile on his face.

Hinata looked up at Naruto, her face scarlet. "S - S - Sure" Hinata stuttered out, her hands locked together and being _unbelievably_ shy.

And if you're about to say 'Aww, that's so _cute_', I will hunt you down and _bitch slap you senseless! _If you probably haven't noticed by now this is about _me_ and _Naruto _being _fucking together! _It's not about Naruto _miraculously_ being _fucking straight! _So _I swear to God_, if anyone thinks this is actually going to end up being NaruHina I will hunt you down and _fucking kill you!_

Since when has this bastard even been that straight anyway!? Who the hell thought of Naruto as being straight!? He's not supposed to be interested in girls! _He should only be after me!_

"I'll leave you two love birds alone then," I said coldly through gritted teeth as I turned and began to walk away from them. "Nice to know you're fuck buddies now"

"Shut up!" Naruto shouted at me. "Just 'cause we've done it doesn't mean - ", Naruto slapped his hand on to his mouth, his eyes wide. He looked at Hinata. "Shit! _I'm sorry! _It slipped!"

She just blushed a darker (if that's even possible) color and just hung her head, not upset with Naruto at all.

That's the _last fucking straw_.

"Well, have fun fellow fuck buddies," I said coldly. I began to walk faster not being able to take this sinking feeling inside me.

"_Sasuke! Knock it off!_" Naruto shouted.

My shoulders tensed up as I heard him call out my name. "I'll say whatever _the fuck I want! So piss off!_" I bellowed coldly, my voice shaky.

I bit my lip.

_Shit_, I have to calm down.

"_Sasuke you _- " Naruto stopped, "Sasuke? What's - wrong?"

I held up my left hand and flipped him the bird.

"_Fuck you!_" he shouted, feeling rather angry now.

"I wish" I mumbled. I turned out of the corridor and kept walking heading to the entrance of the school, this uneasy feeling in my stomach making me sick.

I don't care anymore. If he wants to be with Hinata fine, he can burn in hell for all I care!

Bastard.

There's no point in anything anymore...

_Son of a bitch!_ I'm even sounding emo now! _Grrr!_

I slammed the entrance door open trying to relieve some of this anger.

_Now I'm getting gloomy and shit thanks to him!_ That jackass! He -

Oh...

My...

_Fucking..._

God...

My jaw dropped open at the somehow _disturbingly_ hot view before me.

Neji making out with... _Gaara!?_

* * *

-Sigh- Well, that took a while. I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! Please review and tell me what you think! Until next time, Ja Ne!


	7. I See Gay People

**Disclaimer**: I do not own _Naruto _or any of its characters...(Good thing too, I'd probably make them do crazy porn related things all the time...probably yaoi stuff non-stop...although, maybe that wouldn't be that much of a bad thing, would it??)

**(A/N)** Once again! Another chapter is complete! I hope you guys enjoy it! Sorry it took so long again... But you know me, it takes me forever to update! XD Anyway, enjoy guys!

* * *

_Chapter 7: I See Gay People_

Damn.

Talk about unexpected.

How could I possibly explain this? Neji is considered a smartass fucking _prick_, and yes he is _more_ of an asshole than even _me_ - now _that's_ saying something. Well, to be _perfectly_ honest the son of a bitch_ is_ hot so he's got his stalkers. He doesn't have as many as I do but he _has _been known to beat the shit out of some people that _tried_ to stalk him so that might be it. Anyway, as for Gaara, he's just a flat out freak. He beats on who ever even_ looks_ at him in a way that's _disrespectful_... Let's just say he once broke a guy's _arms and legs_ just because he_ thought_ he rolled his eyes at him. Once again he _is_ pretty hot but for some reason he reminds me of pandas... Maybe it's because he has bags under his eyes since he doesn't sleep much? Or maybe it's because I think he's a dumb panda? I'm not sure but he'd look cute in a panda suit. He could even start living with them and stuff. That'd be _priceless!_ Eww, but what if he gets like, _raped_ by one of them?

Damn that'd be _gross_...

I shuddered as that last image made me feel sick.

I _really_ need to stop thinking like that. Well, _anyways_, point is they are an _extremely_ odd couple but -

Neji broke away from Gaara's mouth and began to suck and bite down his neck while Gaara moaned. Blood squirted out of my nose as images of Neji and Gaara having sex together took over my brain...

_Shit!_

I pinched my nose closed as I tried to wipe away the blood with my free hand.

Think happy thoughts! Think _happy thoughts!_

I closed my eyes and began to breath in and out slowly as I tried to clear my mind.

_Wait! __**Fuck!**_

Suddenly, the image of Neji and Gaara having sex was replaced by Naruto and I.

_Shit! Not __**those**__ happy thoughts!_

I coughed uncontrollably and bent forward trying to breath.

"Uchiha knock it off!" I heard Gaara bark.

I opened my eyes and looked up at half-aroused half-I'm-gonna-kill-you pissed off Gaara and Neji.

"You're such a mood killer, you know that?" Neji said with a harsh glare.

"Well, sorry I didn't let you guys fuck in front of the school in _broad day light_. I bet _no one else_ would of even _**tried**_ to stop you guys from traumatizing some poor little kid that was walking down the side walk." I shot back sarcastically.

"_Fuck you!_" Gaara growled.

"No thank you. I think your boyfriend would get jealous," I shot back coolly.

"Shut up virgin," Neji said.

I glared at him not able to say anything else.

Mother fucker!

Oh _wait_, that'd be _Gaara_ fucker, wouldn't it?

_Gr_, whatever! _Burn in hell jackass!_

Gaara looked at me wide eyed. "Holy shit. You're _really_ a _virgin!?_" he breathed out.

"Yeah, so what?" I said coldly.

"Aw, Uchiha's still a little child at heart" Gaara teased.

"More like, when it comes to his _dick and ass_" Neji corrected.

I pressed my lips together and looked away from him, my face red.

_You mother fuckers! I hope both of you get AIDS and die a painful death! - I hope you choke on each other's dicks and end up strangling each other when your fucked up kinky sex goes __**horribly, horribly wrong!**__ Dammit! I hope there's blood everywhere and your organs hang on hooks as you bleed to death or choke on your own __**fucking blood! **__Grrr - _

Gaara roared with laughter.

"_Shut up! At least I don't get fucked in the ass by Neji, you bastard!_" I bellowed.

Gaara immediately stopped laughing and looked up at me, his sea-green eyes drilling into onyx.

Neji stepped forward about to beat my ass but Gaara wrapped his arms around his neck and nibbled on Neji's ear.

"Well maybe you should _try_ it. It feels _grreat_" Gaara purred. "After all, I'd rather be _satisfied_ by _getting fucked_ than be a stupid virgin _like __**you**_. But I can tell you _just_ how good it feels if you're wondering"

Neji laughed while Gaara just looked at me with his famous don't-be-jealous-just-'cause-I'm-better-than-you smile.

"Fuck off" I mumbled, no longer wanting to be anywhere near them. I left passing right by them.

"Don't worry! We will!" Gaara called after me. "I'll tell you _all_ about it later! Hell, I'll even _video tape it for you!_"

Gaara and Neji laughed.

I walked faster and just tried to think of something else.

_Stupid pricks! I hope they burn in hell!_

Bastards.

I was pissed enough as it was, then they just _had_ to screw with me like th - _What?_ **No!** Not _screw,_ they -

Son of a bitch. _Fine_, they were _messing_ with me. Point is they're pricks _that should die!_ A _horrible, horrible death!_

I'd even think up the whole little situation in my head but -

I gripped my shirt and dug into the fabric that laid over my chest - and heart.

Naruto you stupid ignorant prick. You - you didn't have to go and flirt with her right in front of me. All you had to do was _tell_ me you liked her.

I felt weak and heavy-hearted as I continued to walk home trying to calm down but finding it to be a hopeless thing to do.

**Naruto's P.O.V.**

"Huh?" I said once again not understanding what Hinata was trying to explain to me.

"Naruto" she said with a sigh. "Are you paying _any_ attention?"

"Gomen" I said sheepishly. "It's just - "

She looked at me intently, waiting for me to finish.

" - Sasuke" I mumbled, "looked really mad"

"Well, why don't you go and talk to him?" Hinata suggested.

"Well I just - " I tried to say, but couldn't -

_Why can't I say it!?_ I'm _worried_ about the asshole but I'm scared of talking to him! But - but I also feel kinda guilty. I did seem to piss him off pretty bad after all - which makes it even worse since he's mad at _me_. Damn, just thinking about it makes me feel bad.

Hinata stood up abruptly with a blush on her face. "Let's go find him! I'll go with you!" she said.

"Nani?"

"Well..." she began, collecting her things, "You apparently can't concentrate on your work because you're worried about Sasuke, so lets go!"

"Oh - ok" I said now collecting my things as well. Sticking it all in my bag I hugged Hinata. "You're the _best_ Hinata!" I shouted. "_Let's go find Sasuke!_"

Hinata blushed like crazy, but then I released her and walked over to the classroom door. I turned back to her, a smile on my face as she walked over wobbly, still flushed.

Moments later, we had left the classroom and opened the doors that led out of the school.

"Gaara?" I heard myself say as I saw him - _kissing Neji!?_

Gaara broke away abruptly and looked over at me. "Naruto?" He said in his silent emotionless voice.

"_Gaara_" I cried happily now running up to him and hugging him roughly. "_I missed you so much!_"

Gaara staggered back but then patted my back and returned the friendly hug. "I missed you too," he said softly.

I broke away and looked at Gaara while still holding his shoulders.

"So what brings you here?" I asked, but the only response I got from Gaara was a grin as he looked over my shoulder.

I heard someone clear their throat. I turned my head to see Neji.

"That would be me," Neji said.

_Wait_...

Then...?

_**Holy shit!**_

I blushed and released Gaara's shoulders as I stepped aside. I laughed nervously. "Right! I forgot about the whole - " I began, then pointed to each of them with my index fingers and moved them back and forth as if following an invisible line between them.

"Apparently" Gaara and Neji said together.

"Neji-nii-san," Hinata began softly, "Have you by any chance seen Sasuke-san?"

"Oh, that prick" Gaara interrupted. "Yeah, I think he was headed home."

"He was acting strange though" Neji added thoughtfully.

"How so?" Hinata asked.

"He was being a little bitch" Gaara said flatly.

"What's so strange about _that?_ _He's always like that!_ " I exclaimed.

"Yeah, but he's only like that with _you_" Gaara said bluntly pointing a rather accusing looking finger at me.

That stupid prick Sasuke.

I looked at Gaara dully while Neji and Hinata nodded, knowing it was true.

"Damn bastard. He really has it in for me doesn't he?" I wondered with a sigh.

Neji chuckled. "More than you know" he said.

Huh? What is he talking about...?

I gave Neji a weird look.

"Well, in any case, he was just acting different. He seemed upset about something but he's never acted like that with us before. I've seen him pissed off before, but he's not the type of guy to take out his anger on other people - "

"He usually takes it out on me - " I interrupted in a bitter tone.

Gaara continued, ignoring my comment. "It was as if he felt _hurt_ about something" he said thoughtfully.

I looked down at the ground in shame. For some reason I felt guilty and responsible for it.

"Naruto? Did you have anything to do with it?" Gaara asked.

I looked up at Gaara and nodded slowly. "Well, I got him mad but - I have no idea why. It's not like I did anything - " I said then looked away, remembering what had happened. "Wait - but - I was - " I looked at Hinata, "talking to you. Suddenly, he just starts bitching and leaves, and if I didn't know any better I'd say he was - "

" - About to cry" Hinata said in a surprised and thoughtful tone.

"Then what were you and Hinata talking about?" Neji curiously.

Hinata looked at Neji. "Well, at one point Naruto sounded a bit irritated that I had been talking to Sasuke's fan girls and - er - I - I sort of apologized" she said.

"You were being all shy about it too. Then I just said that it was alright" I said, then pouted thoughtfully. "And for some reason I was feeling kinda shy too. After that I just asked Hinata if we could go back to the classroom and finish our work. She agreed and then Sasuke started being all bitchy!"

Neji raised an eyebrow. "But _how_ did you say it?" he asked.

I blushed. "Well" I began. "I said..." I cleared my throat, "'So, Hinata can we go back to the classroom and - erm - finish up our _work?_' After that I just smiled like this - " I imitated the exact smile I made.

Gaara gave me a weird look while Neji shook his head.

"You better go talk to him" Neji said.

"Huh?" I said.

Neji looked at Hinata. "Hanabi called me and said it was urgent that you go meet her at home" he said in his calm voice, ignoring me.

"But - " Hinata began.

"Don't worry, Naruto will be fine" he interrupted.

Hinata nodded regretfully, but nonetheless, after saying her goodbyes she left.

"Go on Naruto, just go and talk to Uchiha" Neji said. "There was just a misunderstanding between you guys"

"But - then what did I do?" I asked.

"Nothing. He just really needs you to talk to him" he said.

"But - "

"_Just go do it!_" Neji barked.

I yelped and ran off, knowing that if I kept on asking questions I'd piss him off. All the while wondering why it was so urgent for me to talk to Sasuke...

**Gaara's P.O.V**

What the _hell_...?

Don't tell me -

I looked over at Neji and gave him my you-know-something-I-don't face.

Neji grinned.

"Holy shit" I said with a laugh. "Don't tell me that Uchiha's what I think he is"

Neji nodded. "You were right after all" he said as he kissed my forehead.

I smirked. "I told you he was gay" I said getting closer to my lover.

Suddenly, Neji wrapped his arms around me and stared into my eyes with a soft gaze. He raised an eyebrow.

"Did you also know he was after Uzumaki?" Neji asked.

I cocked my head to the side. "It was fairly obvious. We both noticed that detail remember? They always act different with each other but they've never actually noticed themselves" I said and smiled softly. "I hope it goes well for them though. For Naruto's sake that is. After all, if it weren't for him I wouldn't have found you..."

Neji grinned and leaned forward as he closed his eyes. I closed my eyes as well as I now felt Neji's familiar lips against my own. I broke away slightly.

"You might want to call Hinata and tell her you lied about Hanabi needing her" I whispered.

"Shit - " is all he said before pulling away abruptly and reaching for his cell phone.

Damn Neji.

He really doesn't think straight when he's horny.

I smirked.

_'Look who's talking'_, I thought to myself.

But it is cute.

Every time he spaces out like that.

He acts so cold towards other people but he's so sweet with people he cares for. Just like me.

Hopefully, Uchiha is the same.

I grabbed Neji's shoulder and purred into his ear as he finished the call. I chuckled as I could tell Neji was getting _excited._

"Shall we go to your place and have some _alone_ time?" I whispered huskily.

Neji put his cell phone away and began to kiss down my neck. I moaned softly in pleasure.

"Great minds think alike" he whispered against my neck.

And with that, we were off to Neji's house in search of some _fun_.

Naruto. I wish you luck with Uchiha. And for the love of God, don't be stupid, (for once in your life) and just tell him how you feel since I can tell you _do_ have feelings for him. It may be hard but in the long run, it might be the best thing that ever happened to you. I know from experience. All thanks to Neji...

**Sasuke's P.O.V.**

I sighed heavily as I walked into my house. Yes, to me, this place is just a house, a shelter, a place that I'll probably never consider a home.(Damn, that sounds really emo...)

I walked into the living room and turned the lights on as I threw my pack on the couch along with my jacket. I headed for the kitchen since right now I didn't feel like being productive or fucking organized. All I wanted to do was forget.

I got my kettle and filled it with water at the sink. Turning the water off and taking the kettle to the stove, I placed it down and turned the dial as I now adjusted the flame. Satisfied with the medium flame I went back into the living room, sat down on the couch and turned on the television.

I twitched inwardly as I saw what channel it was on, and most importantly, what show was on said channel...

Without thinking I threw the remote as hard as I could at the screen.

Before I had a chance to think of the consequences of my actions, glass and a fried and broken remote control, with it's many shattered pieces went flying everywhere as the remaining inner parts of the television flashed on and off along with the rest of the lights of my house, until finally the television, as I had declared, died a painful and slow death.

I sat there, in the dark, and just stared at my dead television, wondering about one thing only...

_Who the fuck would want to watch Pokemon!?_

_What kind of brain-dead person would actually consider it a good show!? _I mean, it's about _little kids _fighting with _mutated animals!_ That is the _biggest load of crap _I've ever _heard of! _There's a _shitload _of things I can point out as _dangerous and retarded ideas!_ First off, what _caring _parent, in their right _fucking _mind would actually let their _ten or twelve year old kid wander around the fucking country!?_ It's like they're just _begging _a pedophile to _rape the dumbass kids!_ And what's with the fucking _animals _anyway!? They can say their own _fucking names but they can't __**speak!? Bullshit! **_And what kind of military do they have then!? If I had a rat that could do some freaky electrical attack you _know _someone's going to try to rally them all up and _take over the fucking world!_ Then, what about the fucking technology!? You have animals that can fucking catch you on fire, turtles that squirt water at who knows what fucking speed, and little grass freaks that make shit grow like crazy but you can't come up with a better fucking form of _transportation than bicycles or fucking cars!? If our retarded generation can harness solar energy why the hell don't they use some of those animal's fucked up powers to make awesome shit!? Do they at least have fucking awesome sex toys!? No! You know why!? Because they are all sex deprived freaks! They're not normal! They don't like sex because __**they don't have a soul! **_But that's not what even gets me all that pissed. What I really fucking hate is the fact that _no one ever fucking bleeds or dies!_ I mean, look at those freaks! If you encountered one of those bastards in real life you know they could kill you without laying a single fucking claw or tentacle or _penis on you! All those animals have badass attacks damn it! Why the hell won't they fight to the death!? I want blood, I want cursing, I want death, __**I want sex! **_Gah! I'm better off watching animal violence on Animal Planet with their fuzzy _real _animals that actually end up being blood thirsty, cannibal little psychopaths that just want to claw out your eyes with whatever the hell they want - like their claws, or a pointy stick... or their penis which may look like a pointy stick.

I got up and wiped some blood off my cheeks and arms as I noticed that some of the glass had scratched me after all.

I went back into the kitchen then into the laundry room as I got a broom, a bat and some goggles.

There's no way _in hell_ I'm cleaning all that stuff up without smashing that television to shreds first. Or at least until I get tired and end up passing out on the floor... And honestly, I'm betting on the latter...

* * *

Done! I hope you guys liked it! Please let me know what you think! Must go work... Actually, I better get some sleep. It's two o'clock in the morning... and I have to wake up at like six tomorrow... Damn church. Anyway, until next time - Ja Ne!


	8. Emo Thoughts Via Naruto! Hurray!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own _Naruto _or any of its characters (Good thing too, I'd probably make them do crazy porn related things all the time. Probably yaoi stuff non-stop. Although, maybe that wouldn't be that much of a bad thing, would it?).

**(A/N)** DAMN! It's been a long time since I updated this story... Gomen! I've been trying really hard not to die? Um, that's not a very good excuse. Haha. Well, this by far is the longest Chapter, so please enjoy! It's not quite like the Chapters before, I hope something new doesn't make you want to kill me?

* * *

_Chapter 8: Emo Thoughts Via Naruto! Hurray!_

Walking back into the rather dark living room I set the broom down against the wall, about ten feet away from the television. I looked out the window from the living room and into the empty street.

Good thing I never put curtains on that damn window, otherwise I'd 'ave been bumping into shit like crazy since this damn place is so dark now.

I looked around my living room but then stopped as I saw the large sofa in front of the window, then looked over at the smaller twin sofa against the wall furthest away from me, then to my personal favorite, and finally to the black modern rocking chair with its matching foot rest that was to my right and opposite the smaller twin sofa.

I sighed, knowing this place wasn't all that furnished at all.

Maybe I should get some plants and a coffee table. Then at least it wouldn't be _too_ pathetic to claim this place as my own. Well it wasn't even my crap to begin with. It is sadder to say it was your parents shit though. Oh damn well.

I shrugged it off and then looked over at the dead television. I secured the goggles on my head and over my onyx eyes. Gripping the aluminum bat tightly, I walked over cautiously and quietly towards my television.

And, you know, now that I think about it, I might look like a damn dumbass right now.

1. I'm sneaking up on my _TV._

2. 'Cause I'm concentrating way too damn hard.

And 3. Hell, 'cause I'm doing it _at all!_

At this point I was just 3 feet away and getting closer and closer.

I swung the bat with all the force I could muster and - _SMASH!!!_

Glass, plastic, and random metal pieces went flying _everywhere! Woah! It was awesome!_ It's like a giant robot threw up in my living room! Well, like the robot was disgusted by something, threw up a little in its mouth, and spit it out right in front of me.

I flinched as I felt a few pieces graze my skin roughly. I ignored the blood exiting from my cuts and simply pulled the bat back over my shoulder.

_SMASH! SMASH! SMASH!_

That's all I could hear as the booming noise of each swing I struck against my television filled my ears.

I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that told me to stop but I ignored it knowing damn well that I had to get my anger out. I _had_ to forget.

Suddenly, Naruto's words repeated in my head…

_"…Hinata can we go back to the classroom and - erm - finish up our _work?_"_

A low dark growl erupted from my throat as the image of Naruto and Hinata being together filed me with anger and unbelievable sadness. I swung the bat over my head, making my right palm touch against my left ear. I closed my eyes shut as I swung the bat down so hard it flew right out of my hands and crashed into the remaining upper piece of my television, causing the latter to break off completely and - _CRASH!!!_

My eyes shot open and my head spun to the right as I saw a lone piece of my television fly out of my now broken living room window and right at -

"_Holy Fucking – AHHH!_" I heard a familiar voice bellow.

"N - Naruto?" I heard myself say softly.

Then, without thinking I ran towards the front door and opened it in a rush. I stepped outside and saw Naruto huddled on my front lawn shaking uncontrollably.

I could feel my heart stop beating as I thought that Naruto had gotten hurt but he ended up unshielded his head and shaking his arms trying to get the glass off his body. He got on one knee as he looked at his hands and arms, which had a few cuts here and there, while he got up.

"Son of a bitch," huffed Naruto, flicking off a few glass fragments off his pants. Then, he did it, he looked up at me. I found myself being lost in his gaze while my lungs felt like they were being juiced of every ounce of air they possessed.

Suddenly…

"_You crazy bitch! What the hell were you doing!?_" shouted Naruto.

That was all I needed to snap back to reality.

_That bastard! How dare he show his face around here!?_

"That's none of your business, asshole," I replied coldly.

"Oh! So _I'm_ the _asshole!?_ Even though you just tried to _fucking kill me!?_" shouted Naruto, feeling outraged as he barged over, walking up the steps.

But then, as Naruto's words hit me I did something that surprised me as much as Naruto.

I began to laugh.

"What's so funny?!" barked Naruto. "You could have _killed_ me!"

"You dumbass," I began, trying to control myself, "No one asked you to come anywhere near here, so why the hell should I care?"

Naruto huffed, clearly feeling very annoyed. "Well, good to know you wouldn't have bothered to go to my funeral," he spat.

I chuckled. "Yeah, since you _surely_ would have died if that thing had hit that empty and unnecessary head of yours," I said.

"You little –" growled Naruto as he stopped right in front of me and punched me in the arm.

I glared at Naruto. "What the hell do you want?" I asked coldly. "There must be a reason for you to be here... however stupid it may be."

Naruto blinked a few times, as if trying to figure something out.

"Well, truth is - I..." he said, not sure of how to word it.

What the hell is this dumbass up to?

What does he want?

Suddenly, Naruto looked away from me as his eyes darted down towards the ground as he kicked a few pebbles like a shy child.

"The thing is…" he tried again, but still failing to get it out.

At this point I was rather curious as to what he was going to say.

What is it? Did he notice I was acting strange? Was he worried about me? Or is he going to admit his feelings to me?!

Or....

Is he going to ask me for advice about something Hinata related?

As my mind wandered to the sexual questions about Hinata that Naruto might wanna ask me, I found myself getting even more ticked off than I was a few minutes ago.

"If it's something about Hinata, I don't wanna hear it," I blurted out bitterly.

Naruto looked at me, and for some reason it looked like he _understood_ something.

Yeah, creepy right? Naruto actually _getting_ something_ is_ pretty shocking. And if it weren't for the fact that I'm _really_ pissed off right now I probably would have made a big deal about it since I didn't even know he _could_ understand things. Much less have an expression for such an extremely rare occasion.

Damn! I should have gotten a camera! Just to take a picture of Naruto's _smart_ face since I probably won't see it again for... _ever._ This sucks. I probably could have of gotten a shit load of money for it too! It'd be like a breaking news story and everything!

I can see it!

_'Naruto Uzumaki....and his SMART face!' 'The village idiot isn't as dumb as he looks'_ or _'The Lost Expression of Naruto Uzumaki'_ or something like that.

But none of that mattered right now. I was too pissed to care about anything.

"So that's why you were mad?" asked Naruto. "Because of Hinata?"

I could feel my face turn crimson as I felt completely and utterly shocked.

_WHAT?! How – When – Where – ..._

_Why the hell does he know!? How did he figure it out!? It's Naruto damn it! __**Naruto!**_ The _same_ guy that almost failed _first grade_ because he _still _couldn't understand that _2 + 2 = 4!_ Someone _had_ to help him after I left school and –

Holy

_Fucking_

Shit

_Neji _and _Gaara_ were at school! _Son of a bitch!_ Those bastards helped him out didn't they!? Damn it! Neji knows I have a thing for Naruto. And Gaara's always been close to Naruto. And the fact that they're going out just assures that Neji told Gaara.

_Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!_

Wait…

That means that Naruto knows I like him.

But... why would he come? And sound worried and... act _shy?!_

That means that… _he feels the same!_

Oh my fucking God! _Hell yes! _ Hell _fucking _yes!

_Thank you Neji! Thank you Gaara! Thank you, you twisted little bastards!_

I grinned inwardly as dark, _dark_ thoughts filled my perverted mind.

_Heh-heh-heh._

Naruto, you _will_ be mine.

**Naruto's P.O.V.**

I could feel my voice fail me as I tried to speak. I tried once more but realized it was futile.

I guess Sasuke did misunderstand after all. And that's why he was mad. He thought Hinata and I were together, right? Thanks Neji. I think I get it now. And why you told Hinata not to come with me. It's because... Sasuke has feelings for Hinata.

Suddenly, I felt heavy hearted as those last 5 words repeated in my head again and again. I looked down at the ground, trying to hide my now watery eyes.

"That's it, isn't it?" I asked finally in a soft and weak tone.

Sasuke shifted his weight, not sure of what to say.

"Well," Sasuke began awkwardly, "Yeah."

My body tensed up at his simple response.

I don't know why but it made me want to scream. I felt betrayed. Ignored. Unloved. It wasn't because that response showed me that he had feelings for Hinata. It showed me he actually cared about someone other than me. Or that maybe that was the _only_ person he had ever cared about.

What the _hell_ am I _saying!?_ I should be _happy_ that people won't be able to make gay jokes about Sasuke and I!

Or....

Should I?

I mentally slapped myself for thinking about something stupid like that.

Sasuke and I being together, _THAT'S STUPID!_ And _I_ know stupid all right! Yup. It's uh – practically my middle name. You know, now that I think about it that's not really a good thing is it? Well, it _could be_ but didn't that guy in kindergarten cry because they kept calling him stupid? Or did he wet himself? Wait. No. He wet himself _before_ he started crying. Yeah... that's it. He smelled pretty nasty after that. I can't believe they made me sit next to him on the bus. I felt like cutting my nose off. Ugh... Hey, what was I talking about?

Oh yeah. Sasuke...

"Naruto?" I heard Sasuke call softly.

I looked up slowly and met Sasuke's tender gaze.

"Something wrong?" he asked, sounding concerned.

I shook my head slowly. "No," I said softly.

Suddenly, Sasuke grabbed my hand and pulled it towards him as he examined my arm.

"Come on. I'd better clean these cuts up for you," he said, pulling me into his house and leading me to his kitchen.

I glimpsed at the living room on our way in. I noticed what Sasuke had been doing. I gulped as I looked at the back of his head.

He really does lose his mind sometimes doesn't he? Makes me wonder what he'll do if he loses Hinata to some other guy.

I could picture Sasuke sulking and heartbroken. My stomach tightened as I felt a bit saddened now. Then, Sasuke quickly pulled back a chair and pushed me into it, forcing me to lose my balance and fall right into the chair.

"Stay there," he said, now removing the goggles he had on and throwing them carelessly onto the table. "I'm going to go get my first aid kit."

And with that, he rushed off to who knows where to find what he needed.

I sighed then slumped onto Sasuke's kitchen table wanting to just bitch slap somebody (or how I like to call it, he-bitch man-slap somebody). Mostly I wanted to slap myself for being so damn dumb since I actually took Neji's advice.

Neji's a real bastard. He was supposed to help me dammit! _Not sell my ass out! _I thought he said I was on your _good side!_ That jackass!

Well...I did sorta kick his ass though.

_But I did it for his own good!_

Wait... Well, actually I did it 'cause he was being a little bitch towards Hinata. But that's not the point! I did it for him dammit! _I did it for Neji! _Every time I punched him. When I busted his jaw. When I broke his nose. And _even _when I dumped him on the hospital sidewalk. I did it out of _love! _Nothing else.

Oh...

Wait...

When I kicked him in the balls, I did _that _because he was being a smartass. You know, now that I think about it I guess it's more like _family_ love...ish.

It's sorta like that _'Can't live with 'm, Can't live without 'm' _crap since I probably would have killed him if he had _really_ pissed me off. _But_ at the same time I'd want to hug him to death. Wow. So _that's _why family members always say they wanna kill each other... It's their bond of _love_.

Ugh. That's _soo_ creepy. It's times like these I'm actually glad to be an orphan.

Wait.

_Holy shit!_

Iruka-sensei said I was part of his family! _He's gonna fucking kill me – _

"Are you deaf?" I heard a familiar voice say.

I snapped out of my thoughts as I saw Sasuke sitting beside me. He faced me as he opened a small case that he had placed on the table.

"Sorry," I said softly. "I was just thinking about something."

Sasuke laughed slightly. "You can think?" he asked.

I looked away from him, feeling kinda bad that he was making fun of me.

Sasuke noticed it immediately. He became a bit tense and concerned as he said, "What's wrong?"

"...Nothing" I muttered, still not daring to even look at him.

He gripped my shoulder. "Look if it's because I made fun of you, I - " he tried to say, but before he could finish I shifted in my chair, and pushed his hand away with my own.

"Just....shut up," I told him.

He tried to grab my arm but I slapped his hand away. "_Don't touch me_!" I bellowed as I bolted up and gave him a heated glare.

Sasuke looked a little taken aback at this point. Suddenly, he glared at me.

"What the hell's wrong with you?" he spat. "I'm trying to help you out, remember?"

I looked away from him and pushed myself back. As soon as I had enough room to stand I bolted up off the chair and began to rush off. However, Sasuke grabbed my arm and yanked me back.

"What the _hell_?! Are you listening to me?! I'm trying to help, dammit!" snapped Sasuke.

I pulled my arm away from his grasp roughly.

I felt like hitting something _so bad_ at this point. I wanted to just cry out of rage as I began to rush off while I shouted, "I don't need your help you bastard!"

Sasuke shot up off the chair.

"_Naruto!_" He bellowed, rushing after me.

I tried ignoring him, wanting him to just go away.

But...

He ended up wrapping his arms around my waist and pressuring himself against me.

"Don't leave," Sasuke breathed into my ear softly. "Please... Don't leave."

I felt stunned as those words left his lips. I never thought he'd say that. And to me no less. I still didn't want them affecting me though.

"Let me go," I said.

"No,"

I tried pulling away. I tried to move forward and get out of his grasp but he wouldn't budge.

Suddenly, I got close to the wall and Sasuke slammed me against it.

I winced and glared at him.

"Do you mind?" I asked rudely, still trying to pull away.

"Yeah," he said, getting closer to me. "I do."

He was getting a little too close to me. I felt my face flush as I felt him press his body against my own. I stared into his eyes feeling cornered and uncomfortable but somehow _enjoying _it.

He looked downward slightly. Somehow, I could tell he was looking at my lips and feeling rather _hungry_.

I couldn't help it anymore. I looked down at Sasuke's lips.

They looked so soft, smooth, and _delicious_. And without even knowing it, I parted my lips as Sasuke got even closer to me.

I closed my eyes and I felt Sasuke's lips against my own.

It was such an odd feeling.

This wasn't my first kiss. Far from it. But there was something unique about it. I felt sparks go off every time he was near me, every time he talked to me, every time he touched me. Now, this kiss. I couldn't possibly put it into words. I just wanted this to last forever.

He started off with a few long pecks, but then, he grabbed my chin lightly and opened my mouth as he slipped his tongue in.

From that point, I couldn't think straight. I didn't even pay attention to what Sasuke was doing but all I could think of was that Sasuke sure was a good kisser. Who the hell am I kidding, he was amazing. He was the best I've ever had. It was odd. He's usually so rough with me but right now, right at this very moment, he was being so gentle and just kept taking his time.

And if I didn't know any better. I would say I was in Heaven.

"Nn... Naruto," Sasuke managed to say between kisses. "I" Kiss "do - " Kiss " - n't" Kiss "wa - " Kiss " - nt" Kiss "to" Kiss "st - " Kiss " - op".

At that moment, I hadn't paid any attention to what Sasuke was saying. Frankly, I didn't give a damn _what_ he was saying. All I wanted was for him keep kissing me.

That's when his words finally registered.

Oh God.

I didn't want him to stop either.

I just wanted to stay like this with him forever.

Then, Sasuke began to kiss, bite, and suck on my neck. I gripped his shirt desperately as I opened my mouth subconsciously and began to moan lightly. I squirmed in his grasp wanting more and more of him as his lips and tongue touched and caressed me continuously.

His hand crawled underneath my shirt and made its way to one of my hard nipples.

I gasped as he twirled it between his fingers.

Pulling my shirt up completely, his head quickly went down and he began to suck on my nipple harshly.

I gripped his clothes even more forcefully, wanting him to keep going, wanting him never to stop.

Then he stopped caressing my nipples with his mouth and smashed his lips onto my own again. His kisses became rougher and faster as he began to rub his body against my own in a more synchronized manner.

That's when I felt it. He pressed his erection against my leg while he rubbed his leg against my own _hard little friend_.

I squirmed forcefully and pulled my head away from the kiss. Sasuke stopped and stared at me while I simply looked away. My face felt like it was burning at that moment as I felt completely embarrassed.

"Please. Just stop," I spoke softly.

Sasuke continued to stare at me.

He looked away and smirked.

"You really want me to stop?" He asked.

"Yeah..." I replied.

Sasuke grabbed my chin and made me face him. He kissed me but just as he was going to slip his tongue into my mouth I shook my head and broke away.

"K - Knock it off!"

Then he lost it.

He moved slightly and thrusted his hips against me, making me gasp as he then began to rub our erections together.

I gripped his shoulders, wanting to push him away but –

He began to kiss, bite, and suck on my neck forcefully as he separated my legs and continued to rub our hard members together roughly.

I gasped and began to moan uncontrollably at this point.

_Oh fuck _this feels _**so good**_.

I couldn't take it.

I wanted to pull away so badly and just run. I didn't want Sasuke touching me like this. I didn't want him anywhere near me with these kinds of intentions.

But I guess that's because I don't want him to hurt me...._again_.

'_Sasuke has feelings for Hinata.'_

'_He doesn't care about you...and he never will.'_

My eyes began to burn as tears formed, threatening to escape.

I grabbed Sasuke forcefully and pushed him away as hard as I could.

He fell back but caught himself on the kitchen table.

"_Stop it!_" I bellowed, tears slowly leaving my eyes. "_Don't touch me!_"

I staggered slowly to the kitchen entrance and to the hallway. I never turned my back on Sasuke. I never looked into his dark onyx eyes.

As I thought back to what he did, I lost my balance and fell right down onto my ass.

"Naruto..." I heard Sasuke say. I heard his footsteps. He was getting closer.

I tried to get up.

Sasuke grabbed my arm. I quickly pulled it away, I looked up – my eyes bloodshot – and releasing all of my pent up tears.

"_I told you not to touch me_!" I shrieked. I bit my lip as I choked back tears.

Son of a bitch.

I can't take it! _Why can't I stop crying?!_

Sasuke's eyes were wide. He didn't know what was going on.

He reached out for me.

But –

I slapped him across the face.

I immediately got up and ran out.

I left Sasuke standing there with a burning cheek and a stupid look on his face.

I ran all the way home.

I didn't stop to say hello to anyone, even when they called out my name. I didn't stop to make sure I didn't step in dog crap. I didn't stop to make sure I didn't trip on anything. And I sure as hell didn't stop to catch my breath.

When I finally got there, I slammed my door open and slammed it closed.

I leaned against the door as I tried to catch my breath.

I cringed as I felt that my heart was going to burst.

Fuck, I don't get how some people can make a living out of running like that. I mean _come on_ those fucking marathon things are _long as hell_! You'd think they'd die before they hit the finish line! Or maybe they just got a lot of practice on not letting their hearts explode when they were younger? I sure as hell did. But that was a long time ago. I used to steal things all the time and run for my life! _**Holy shit**__!_ _I bet that's what they do to keep in shape! _Those bastards! No wonder they're so _fucking rich!_

Just like Sasuke...

My heart sank at that moment. I slid down to the floor as I finally let all the tears out.

I covered my face and just kept crying.

I'm so fucking stupid. Why did I let him do that?

There's no way he meant it.

There's no way he was actually interested in me.

There's no way he actually cares about me.

He already broke my heart once.

What's stopping him from doing it a second time?

* * *

Alright, that's the end of the Chapter. Hope you enjoyed it. Don't forget to leave a review with your thoughts~ All thoughts are loved~ So come on, click the pretty button! You know you want to... it's like a rubber ducky you can't help but squeak! Or murder, whichever floats your boat. Well my lovely readers, until next time, Ja Ne!


	9. Never Let Crazy People Drive

**Disclaimer**: I do not own _Naruto _or any of its characters (Good thing too, I'd probably make them do crazy porn related things all the time. Probably yaoi stuff non-stop. Although, maybe that wouldn't be that much of a bad thing, would it?).

**(A/N)** Oh man! It's been two weeks since I updated this last. I was going to update sooner, but I've been busy as hell. Either way. I'm so proud of myself! I think this is like the most constant update type thing I've since like... EVER! Anyway, I have a lot of random bits in here, like always, and I introduce someone new! Well, new to this story anyway. I hope you enjoy it! Now, read on before I shank you with love~

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_Chapter 9: Never Let Crazy People Drive_

**Sasuke's P.O.V.**

I stood there, in the middle of my hallway feeling _unbelievably _confused.

I stared at the open door that Naruto had just ran out of. Rubbing my red and aching cheek I thought back to what I _possibly_ could have screwed up on.

What the fuck was all of that about!? What the hell did I do!? I… I thought he wanted me to do that! Fuck, I _know_ he wanted it! But I don't get it, what happened?

I gave him what he wanted.

I showed him that I wanted him.

Why did he reject me? He – He fucking slapped me for crying out loud!

I rubbed my cheek and walked over to my door. I grabbed the door knob and slammed the door shut.

I can't believe he did that! What the fuck was his problem!? As if he didn't fucking like it! _He was hard dammit__!_

_Son of a bitch!_ Why the fuck is this happening!?

I couldn't take it anymore…

I walked back to my kitchen and grabbed a chair. I gripped it forcefully, trying to relieve my anger but it wasn't working. I grabbed it by both sides and yanked it back. I lifted it and swung it to my side. I held it higher in the air as I got it on my back.

"_Don't touch me!"_

"_I told you not to touch me!"_

As I remembered what Naruto told me I couldn't help but feel even more enraged and confused.

I stared at my kitchen table as it slowly became blurry. A few tears left my eyes as I remembered Naruto's expression before he left. He looked horrified. It seemed as though I had betrayed him. It was as if I had hurt him in an unspeakable way.

What the hell did I do!? What was he thinking!? What the hell am I supposed to do now!? I don't understand! _I don't understand!_

_I don't fucking understand!_

_SMASH! SMASH! SMASH!_

I finally released the chair.

Slumping onto the floor I stared at what I had just done.

My once elegant wooden kitchen table lay on the floor in pieces along with all four of its matching chairs.

A broken leg lay here and there with thousands of wooden fragments and the shattered glass vase that once stood beautifully on the table.

I had caused so much destruction in such a short period of time.

I couldn't deny however that I would thank the heavens for material chaos in exchange for the knowledge of what resided in Naruto's head. To know the very thoughts running through his mind would mean everything to me.

I really am going insane aren't I?

Compared to the broken table, the chairs, the TV, and even the window, I still felt worse. Put all of those broken things together and I can still say that my heart was broken into even more pieces.

Tears escaped my eyes at that moment.

I didn't understand.

What had I done wrong? Why did Naruto react like that? Why... do I feel so _guilty?_

My voice cracked as I inhaled sharply. My body began to shake as I sat there among the destruction and wept uncontrollably.

I'm not sure how long I sat there for but eventually my head began to throb from the inside and my ass had fallen asleep.

I forced myself to calm down. Wiping my tears away I slowly got up and walked towards the phone.

I kicked my broken table and chairs around since the little bastards kept trying to trip me as I stumbled over them. Finally making my way to the phone I took deep breaths and controlled my voice so I wouldn't sound like I had just been crying like a little bitch.

Picking up the phone I dialed the familiar number I despised with a passion. I held the phone to my ear as it began to ring.

"Hello?" the dark familiar voice spoke.

"It's me Sasuke," I declared. "I need you to come over and clean up a few things that I broke."

"What?" the monotone voice asked, suddenly the voice became more emotional and freakishly feminine. "You haven't spoken to me in _months _and you expect me to do whatever you want!? _I'm not your maid dammit!_"

"Stop whining Itachi and just do it," I snapped at him.

"_NO!_" Itachi shrieked. "Look here _little brother_, I'm not doing _shit _for you! Just because _you're _the _pretty one_ doesn't mean _crap_ to me! Got it?! So if you _actually believe _I'll –"

"I'm going to tell mom you were the one that stole her makeup and dresses seven years ago just 'cause you wanted to see if you could make yourself look pretty," I cut in. "Don't you think she'll be pissed that it was _your _fault her maid was fired for something stupid _you_ did?"

"...."

I smirked. Itachi was going to break. I could _smell it_.

Well, not _really smell it_, but more like I knew the little fag would give in to me.

Eww, that sounds gross.

I don't wanna bone my ugly older brother! He's you know, ugly and all, and a fag. Should I even be saying that? I'm not all that straight either. Besides, if I call him gay, that means he likes guys. And _I'm _a guy. So yeah, he might like me. No way will I allow any kind of creepy gay incest. Well, if it involves me anyway. If someone else wants to do it, fine. I don't care about other people. As for me, that'd just be gross. I don't even want to _think_ that my brother even _has _a penis. Otherwise I'll start feeling weird and want to get a rabid dog to bite it off just so the little bastard can die. And by _little bastard_ I mean Itachi's penis. Yes, I know it's little. No, I didn't let him touch me with it. I don't let him touch me _at all_. No, he's _never tried_. I'd rather cut off my own penis and swallow it whole before I let that happen. We used to take baths together when we were little, that's why I know Itachi has a small penis. And no, nothing kinky happened dammit! _So stop looking at me funny!_ Man, if you even _dare _start squealing I'll kill you because _never _had Itachi touched me _anywhere_ like that and he sure as hell _never will_.

'Why', you ask? You fucking fan person, _because I fucking said so! What other fucking explanation were you expecting!?_ The _only_ person I want _anywhere_ near _my penis _is _Naruto!_ More specifically, Naruto's ass. Ok, _and_ his mouth. Oh yeah, _and maybe_ his hand from time to time. But besides that, _NOTHING!_

Wait, I take that back. A threesome would be pretty nice though.

Alright, alright, anyone that isn't A. Creepy B. Weird C. Annoying or D. My relative in any way shape or form (_especially_ Itachi's bitch ass) _might _have the chance to touch my penis.

I better be _dead drunk_ and with Naruto while they do it though!

Or I'll kill them. Simple as that.

Wait....

What was I talking about?

Oh wait. I was supposed to be talking on the phone with Itachi, right?

"So Itachi," I began. "Want me to call mom and tell her _all_ about –"

"I'll be there in 15 minutes," said Itachi.

"Wait. Don't you live like _4 hours_ away!?" I exclaimed.

"If _you_ drive it is...." said Itachi. "If_ I_ drive I'll be there in 10 minutes, 15 minutes tops!"

"But I drive at 80 miles an hour most of the time! How the _hell_ can you get here in 10 -"

"Well maybe you didn't know this but the sidewalk can sometimes be a perfect place to drive on to skip traffic. Just pray that I don't hit anyone.... _again_" Itachi stated.

I began to twitch. I felt bad for that guy he hit. Last time I checked, which was last month, he was still in the hospital and in a coma.

That incident happened 5 years ago.

It was in broad daylight. There were hundreds of witnesses... and blood everywhere. Let's just say that Itachi had gotten obsessed with glow in the dark condoms. After his stupid ass finally realized that they weren't just a myth he had to have some but there weren't any in the pharmacies so this idiot thought he'd go to another city to get them.

Traffic was bad so he used the sidewalk.

You can guess what happened after that.

"Take your time. No need to hurry," I told him.

"No, no. It's for my little brother so I have to get there as fast as I can!" Itachi said happily.

"But... people don't like the way you drive Itachi," I muttered awkwardly. What I really wanted to say was that _anyone_ would rather stab their own _penis and balls _or _vagina and ovaries _with a _rusty nail_ than _ever_ have to witness or be victimized by Itachi's driving.

"Well," Itachi snapped in a prissy voice, "If they don't like my driving they better get the hell off the sidewalk!"

Oh dear God....

I could just imagine God hanging his head in shame and counting all the lives that would be ended by Itachi's bumpers.

Or the wheels.

Or the undercarriage.

Or the windshield.

Or even the windshield wipers.

When it comes to Itachi's car, even the windshield wipers should be feared. You have no idea how many birds he's killed with those things.

I sighed heavily.

Sorry my poor little pedestrians. I won't be able to change Itachi's mind. Once he's decided to do something he's going to do it. I know that from experience.

_Stop looking at me like that dammit! _No! He _didn't molest me _and no _he didn't fucking rape me_! Gr, I _wasn't willing _either! - I mean - I - _NOTHING HAPPENED DAMMIT!_ Point is that I still remember the first time I was in the car with Itachi. Son of a bitch, stop looking at me like that! How many fucking times do I have to tell you that nothing happened!? Let me just finish the fucking story! Anyway, Itachi had _miraculously_ gotten his license (I bet he drugged and screwed his examiner). Well, when I was young and innocent (I'm still a virgin too dammit!) and didn't know any better like never to trust my retarded faggot brother, he had wanted to drive me down the street to a friend's house, yes, I had friends, I wasn't _always_ emo. Not that I _am_ emo or anything of course, and I'm _not _in denial (or _in denial_ about _being in denial!_). Well, he lives only 10 houses down. Itachi ended up spotting a squirrel two houses down and thought it'd be funny to scare it. Let's just say that Itachi ruined a lot of privet property that day. And he ended up crashing into my friend's legendary family tree and catching it on fire along with the car. After I managed to crawl out of the car and proceeded to curl up into a ball and sob on the lawn, Itachi got some gasoline and wanted to catch the squirrel he had been chasing on fire but the idiot forgot the car had _hit the tree_ and was right against it. He's such a fucking idiot.

I twitched as I remembered what had happened.

I still remember how the poor squirrel ran for its life when Itachi was driving over our neighbor's lawns like that. And how it screamed when it was caught on fire along with the tree and died. Or was that me? I don't know but Itachi's evil laugh is also very unpleasant and _way too creepy._ I never knew a guy his age could laugh in such a high pitched voice. I don't even think a 6-year-old girl on helium could do that.

"Whatever Itachi," I huffed. "Do whatever the hell you want but I want my house back to the way it was before I get back. Or at least as close to how it was anyway."

"You're not gonna wait for me?" Itachi asked in a hurt tone.

"Hell no," I replied bluntly. "I have some things to take care of. Bye Itachi."

"But -"

I slammed the phone down and hung up on my annoying older brother.

I sighed and then left my kitchen as I made my way to my front door. Locking the door carefully I closed it behind me. I was about to take out my house key and place it under the mat for Itachi but I noticed my broken front window. I looked from the door to the window.

Why the hell did I lock the door? Any burglar can just get in through the window! If they're retarded they won't think about the window but can anyone be that stupid besides Naruto and Itachi?

Whatever, if a burglar can get in through the window, so can Itachi. Eventually...

I turned my back to my house as I walked across my lawn and onto the street.

Time to by a new TV, table with matching chairs, and pay someone to fix my window.

I stared up at the cloud filled sky and simply wondered as to what else would happen on this unbelievably horrid day.

God, I hate my life.

No you idiots, _I'm not emo!_

**Gaara's P.O.V.**

_Oh fuck_, _I think I'm going to die!_

I gripped the sheets roughly as I scratched at them ruthlessly. I went from standing on my hands and knees to collapsing onto my elbows. Moans mixed in with screams of Neji's name escaped from my mouth continuously as beads of sweat rolled down my skin. Gripping my sweaty hips forcefully Neji continued to pound his hard cock into me again and again _and again_.

_Oh fuck, __**Neji!**__ This feels soo fucking good!_

_Oh __**God!**__ Hit me there! __**Right there Neji!**_

Ramming against my prostate I could feel fireworks go off in my head.

"_Neji! Neji!_" I screamed in ecstasy.

I could feel I was close to my limit.

Suddenly, I heard my cell phone's ring tone go off.

'_Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?'_

'_Spongebob Squarepants!'_

'_Absorbent and -'_

Neji stopped.

I could feel my veins on my forehead pulsing as I knew damn well who had called and that they had interrupted a _very_ important _activity_ to me.

"What was _that?_" Neji panted.

"My cell phone," I growled out.

"But then -"

"It was Naruto. He insisted that I have that ring tone for him since he's so damn obsessed with the show."

"Is that why it was so short?"

My eyes went wide.

He was right. It was too short. Naruto must have hung up before it finished (much like my orgasm). I crawled forward slightly and pulled Neji out of me as I somehow managed to make it to my abandoned pants with my cell phone.

I dialed Naruto's number and held the phone to my ear as I heard his retarded voicemail. I hung up and stared at my phone.

"What's wrong?" Neji asked.

"I don't know," I replied in a daze of my own thoughts. I grabbed my clothes and began to get dressed as I said, "I'm going to find out though."

"What!? But -" Neji stopped and gave me a depressed look as he looked down at his still hardened dick.

I hung my head.

"I know. And I can't believe I'm saying this but it'll have to wait. I have to know what happened to my blond idiot."

"Excuse me?" Neji asked in a curious and jealous tone.

I huffed and grinned as I crawled on the bed and kissed Neji.

"You know what I mean," I stated. "Come on, let's go."

I grabbed Neji's clothes and tossed them to him.

I'll be damned if I don't find out what happened to that blond idiot.

**Naruto's P.O.V.**

What am I supposed to do?

I uncurled from my ball and took out my cell phone.

Unconsciously I dialed Gaara's number. But just as I stared at my phone and realized I was calling someone I hung up and threw my phone aside.

I can't call Gaara! What the hell was I thinking!? He's got more important things to do! He came all this way to see Neji. I don't wanna interrupt them! What if they're doing something!? Like watching a really good movie or playing video games! I could have made Gaara lose the game for all I know! I don't wanna mess that up for them.

I already messed it up with Sasuke and me.

Then, just as I began to fall back into my dark thoughts of Sasuke I heard my phone ringing. I crawled over and noticed Gaara's name flashing on the screen. My heart sank into my stomach.

Oh crap. What am I supposed to do?

I froze in place. I stared at the phone until it stopped ringing and announced that I had missed a call.

I can't believe he actually called back.

I felt bad at this point. Truthfully, I felt like stabbing myself for being such a selfish jackass. I had interrupted Gaara's big day with Neji! Argh! It's worse than that time when I spilled grape juice all over Sakura's dress on picture day when we were in first grade! I mean come on, grape juice stains suck ass! It's like 'Rawr! I'm grape juice and my mission is to stain your prettyful clothes and _ruin _them! _Mwahahaha!_' You know, something evil and twisted like that. Sakura was pretty pissed that day. I tried to apologize. I made her a mud pie! But I ended up tripping and dropping the mud pie on her dress.

Personally, I would have liked to have been given a mud pie! But _noo_ Sakura got even _more_ mad at me! Can you believe that!? Just because you make a girl a mud pie and you accidentally drop it on her dress doesn't mean she should hate you for life because of it! I mean come on, what kind of shit is that!? If you're given a mud pie you're supposed to thank the person and get over whatever the hell they did! You're _not_ supposed to get _mad _and _kick them in the fucking balls_! _Especially_ if you have those _pointy ass shoes on__!_ That shit was painful. Just thinking about it makes my balls hurt. It's okay my babies. You're safe now. They were just bad memories. That's all. That evil, _evil_ girl won't hurt you anymore... or those pointy shoes.

I smiled to myself as I remembered what had happened after that.

Sasuke had been so nice to me back then. He actually ended up walking right up to Sakura and told her that he thought her dress looked better like that. She was so happy she forgot that she had been kicking my ass and left. After she got far enough though, Sasuke began to giggle as soon as she had left and told me that he thought she looked ridiculous. We ended up laughing together.

That had been the first time Sasuke stood up for me. It wasn't the last either.

He's done a lot for me.

I guess that's why I liked him so much from the very beginning.

I would compete with him all the time since he's such an ass that way but deep down I knew he was different from that. He was completely different from what he showed people. For whatever reason, I hated myself for noticing that about him. Is that why I got so attached?

As I lost myself in those old memories I couldn't help but lose track of time.

Then, I heard someone knocking on my door.

I jumped up and wiped my eyes of the remaining tears. I straightened myself up and cautiously opened my apartment door.

My jaw dropped and my eyes went wide as I saw Gaara standing there.

"G - Gaara?" I gasped. "W - What are you doing here?"

Gaara gave me his usual expression at first. But then, his eyes went narrow.

I looked away as I tried to hide my bloodshot eyes.

"Don't look at me like that!" I told him. "Shouldn't you be with Neji right now?"

Gaara grabbed my chin and made me look at him. I bit my lip as I expected him to yell at me. But he ended up just giving me a big hug.

I sank into his embrace and just cried...

I was such an idiot wasn't I?

**Sasuke's P.O.V.**

Walking down the street calmly I noticed just how close I was to the stores.

Suddenly, a small blue car sped by...

My body shook as that car came inches away from my body and almost hit me.

_Fuck!_

I looked back and noticed the car speed off.

What the hell was that person's problem!? They could have killed someone dammit! I hope that wasn't Itachi.

Wait, no. That wasn't Itachi.

Itachi drives that gay little pink car of his. I still can't believe he drives that piece of crap though. A grown man driving a pink car just doesn't look right. The first time I saw it I thought I had gone color blind. But no. I was right as always. It was in fact a pink car. I never thought my brother would do something so stupid as to buy a _pink car_. He always told me how funny he thought it was that he had gotten that 'wonderful' car at such a cheap price. Do you know why it was so fucking cheap? _Because it was stupid looking__!_ _That's why_! You know those really retarded guys that always act macho and shit? Of course you do! If you don't know then you're just a clueless idiot. Or you've been living in the wilderness somewhere with pandas or something. Or maybe you're one those macho idiots. I'm not sure which, but for the sake of your soul, I hope it's the first one. Coming from me that should be like a blessing for you since I rarely give a damn about what happens to people.

Anyway, you know how they're always saying shit like 'It takes a _real man_ to wear pink'. Personally, I think that's a bunch of bullshit. It doesn't take a _real man_ to wear pink! If you feel like wearing the damn color, _then you just felt like wearing it__! __Nothing else _to it! Are they just trying to prove themselves as grown fucking man by wearing it!? 'Cause it's _not working__!_ Why the hell would wearing a color determine if your balls finally fucking dropped yet!? Shit, does it determine if you _have_ balls and a penis!? Oh! I have a penis and balls! Does that mean I have the attention span to wear a pink shirt!? _No__!_

Well, I do have the attention span but, that's a different story. Point is, _it's not true dammit_! Anyone could wear pink you dumb fucks! Even my _dead grandma _can wear pink! Does that mean she's a _real man _too!? _No it doesn't you fucktards!_ If you _dare_ try to prove otherwise then you're just as retarded as that crack addict hobo that lives under your bridge that claims he's pregnant! Yeah.... you heard right. I said that the hobo was a _he_, _not a she_.

I could have gone on and on about that but I noticed that the car had done a crazy ass U-turn and was headed my way.

I tried to run out of its way but just as I thought that I was going to die, it screeched to a stop right in front of me.

The driver's door opened suddenly.

Out came Neji.

Oh fuck.

_Neji's one fucked up driver_!

"Get in Uchiha," he commanded in a harsh tone.

I gave him a weird look. But just as I was going to flick him off and run for my life I remembered that he had a car.

He could run my ass over if I pissed him off bad enough.

I cautiously walked over and got into the passenger seat.

"Where are you going right now?" Neji asked me as he sat down and put the car in drive.

"I was going to that new Furnishing Store thing that just opened up," I said awkwardly.

"Okay," Neji muttered indifferently. "Let's go."

With that, we drove off to the store.

And I swear that the only thing running through my head at that moment was, _Oh fuck! Where's Gaara!?_ This isn't fucking good! _What the hell is going on now!?

* * *

_

Yay! Chapter Nine is now Complete! Please click the pretty purple button and tell me what you think! Or I'll shank you~ With love of course. Don't think I won't shank you hard though! It's love, but tough love! I kid, I kid. The reviews, good or bad, are always welcome! Anywayz, until next time, Ja Ne!


	10. Let's Get One Thing Straight, I'm Not

**Disclaimer**: I do not own _Naruto _or any of its characters.

**(A/N): **Finally! An update! This has taken me forever... I'm sorry! Well, anyway, enjoy! Also, the name of the Chapter is courtesy of a Bumper Sticker, you should go out and find it!

* * *

_Chapter 10: Let's Get One Thing Straight, I'm Not_

_Fuck! Just – Fuck! I can't even think of anything besides that at this point! I'm just _so _fucked!_

The car was absolutely silent, my nails were digging into my flesh, and Neji was freaking me the _fuck_ out. I don't know what the hell is running through his mind right now, and quite frankly I don't want to know. I just want to get the hell out of here!

Okay, the vehicle is running at 40… 50… No, 60 miles an hour. If I open the car door, jump onto the grass, and tuck and roll, I might – _might_ – just break an arm or a leg and live to tell the tale. But if I – wait… _What the fuck!_ Why is he going _over 60 _in a fucking _30_ _miles per hour zone!_ Fuck I'm going to die! _Nooo!_ I'm gonna die a _virgin! _I never had the opportunity to feel the sweet sensation of –

Suddenly, I feel something smack me on the back of the head. I jerked away immediately.

Fuck! The first strike! This is it! This is the end! Waah!

"I'm talking to you Uchiha!" Neji bellowed.

I stared up at him and blinked. "What?"

"Stop spacing out like a hormonal little girl and listen to me!"

_Hormonal little girl…? _No wonder he's gay. Mental note: _Like you're one to talk_. But, since when am_ I_ a hormonal little girl? Wait, _can_ little girls be hormonal? They're like tiny and non-threatening. Well, unless they're Sakura or Ino, but isn't that what you call a bitch? Even then, they're just fucking _crazy_ so –

"_Uchiha!_"

"…What?"

"Are you listening to me?"

"If I say yes, will you let me live?"

"_What?_"

"Nothing."

"Stop mumbling! It's really fucking annoying…"

"So is your mom but you don't see me complaining."

"… My mother is dead."

_Oops... Awkward silence._

"Just say what you were going to say, alright?" I said after a few moments.

"Stop fucking around with Naruto."

_What the fuck?_ "What are you talking about? I was the one that got _shot down_." The bitter taste of rejection still lingered in my mouth. _Or is that blood?_ I'm not quite sure anymore…

"Are you serious?"

"Is Gaara gay?"

"Excuse me?"

"It's a 'flamboyant yes' you moron."

He glared at me but I didn't really give a damn at this point. "What happened exactly?"

I really don't want to talk to him. "What are you, the gay sex police?"

"Will you stop being a smartass!"

"Look you queer little psychic, I don't feel like talking about it. Especially right now, it _just _happened like an hour ago."

"I know."

… _What!_

Note to self: Neji-proof/pervert-proof my home. "… Yeah, this is where you start to explain before I call the cops on your ass. Pick your words wisely, there's a can of pepper spray somewhere on my body." I gestured to all of me, then pointed to my dick. "And no, what you see _there_ is _actually_ my penis. And no – you don't get to touch it…" Fuck, _please_ don't think I'm bluffing.

Neji started to laugh. The doubt and concern about jumping out of his car was quickly replaced with a need to run for my life. I undid the seatbelt. "Calm down, I don't want sex," he sighed, "an hour ago I was getting some until Naruto called Gaara." He had an annoyed expression on his face. "He was worried about Naruto so he basically just made me take care of myself and then go check on you."

… I feel safer, but the urge to vomit surfaced along with a strange need to choke Neji for getting something that I wanted, and a craving for fried chicken. I have never felt more in tune with a black pimp in my life. "It's comforting to know that you jacked off before seeing me. That was decent of you."

"Very funny you sarcastic bastard."

"I'm serious. That's on my list for a dream date, 'get heartbroken, get picked up by a crazy fucked up driver, find out someone jacked off before seeing me,' the list goes on. It's sweet of you to consider my feelings, and the fact that I don't put out on the first date. Thank you." My hand was on my chest at the end of that bit to emphasize the fact that I was _in fact_ being sarcastic and pissed as shit.

"Cut the crap Sasuke."

"Apparently you already cut Gaara's with your dick."

"… I don't even know how to respond to that…"

"… I can't believe I just said that, so we're on the same boat."

Awkward silence. Oh what joy you bring me awkward silence, with your careful timing and gift of making me want to put a gun to my temple. A nice BANG after the pull of a trigger sounds just about scrumptious right now. Yes, I did in fact say scrumptious. No, I am not gay… Alright, scratch that and fuck off.

"Is this it?" asked Neji as we approached a shopping center with a furniture store.

I nodded and Neji turned into the parking lot, screeching to a stop before almost hitting a parked BMW. I hadn't noticed how scared I was until I realized I couldn't hear anything else but my heart thudding in my head, and the fact that I was clawing at Neji's seat and had to pry my fingers off the leather. We both exited the vehicle, Neji calmer than I. Only one thing was running through my mind at this time: _How the fuck did he get a license!_

Before I knew it, we were in the store and I went to the dining room section. I suppose I was still recovering from the frightening and possible shit-in-my-pants incident because I hadn't noticed the girls crowding around Neji and me until this moment. Neji glared them away, I merely ignored them.

"So, what happened?" Neji asked eventually.

I sighed.

"Look, I don't want to know. I honestly don't care, but Gaara is talking about this with Naruto as we speak. I at least need to report something back to him."

"… You're basically doing this to get laid, aren't you?"

Neji nodded curtly.

As annoyed as I was, I figured it wouldn't hurt to get a few things out of him.

"First though, why did Naruto call Gaara anyway?" I wondered.

Neji shrugged.

"What did he say?"

"Nothing. He didn't even wait for the phone to finish ringing."

My nostrils flared. "He probably changed his mind about telling Gaara how he rejected me. I bet he's just going to tell him in person now."

Neji gave me an odd look. "What are you talking about? Naruto was crying his eyes out when Gaara got there."

"… What?"

"How the hell did you not know? What did you do to him?"

"I didn't do anything! That's sort of why I'm pissed off, remember?"

My mind went back to how it felt to kiss Naruto, hold him, caress him. I sighed, trying to push those thoughts away, because the image of him crying, going hysterical with pain, was something I didn't want to think of.

"Then, what happened?"

"I started kissing him, a lot. He kissed me back… But he ended up freaking out and ran out."

Neji raised an eyebrow.

I sighed. "That's all. Alright, maybe I rubbed up against him a bit… and he asked me to stop, but I thought he was just being a little bitch about me being a guy. I know he wanted it." I sighed, feeling a bit guilty now. "It's not like –" I felt dirty just thinking about it. "I didn't force him into anything."

"Sure."

My fingers began to tap on a dining table frantically. I didn't know what to do. Was it my fault?

Fuck no it wasn't! Alright, maybe I felt pretty fucking bad about how it turned out and I would try to fix it, but I sure as hell didn't hurt him! I want him, I made that abundantly clear. Yes, I want his body. Yes, I'd pound into him like no tomorrow. I'd _fuck_ that ass until – Shit. Yes, I want him. But I also want to be with him. I usually roll my eyes at the thought of dating someone, because it just seems like a stupid thought. As a high school student, you sure as shit don't know what your life is going to be like ten years from now. Shit, you won't know what it'll be like a fucking month from now. All you know is that it's going to keep changing and you can either move with it or be the one dumbass that tries to fight it. What the hell do you know about love? Oh, so you say '_I can't live without him!_' right now. Let me show up at your house right now and offer my dick to you, you'll change your mind faster than a fat man chasing down an ice cream truck. Thing is, shit happens, and the experience will stay with you, but you're going to change your mind. You may not change completely, but you sure as hell won't be the same stupid kid you once were. Or maybe you will, fuck if I know, and fuck if I care.

Life is one of those things that will fuck you up when you least expect it. Maybe you see it coming, but you decide not to do shit about it. Or maybe, just maybe, you saw it coming, and did something about it. Who the fuck knows.

I don't know what's going to happen. I have this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach that this shit is going to blow up in my face like calling immigration after hiring the best gardener in the world. To think I'm having these kinds of thoughts is actually freaking me the fuck out. I usually don't give a shit about these things. It's like one of those after school specials is going on in my head… You know, like a conversation you wouldn't have with your parents because you sure as hell wouldn't have bothered to listen to their advice. It's the kind of thing you learn when you fuck up your own life and realize 'oh wait, that _can_ happen to me'. Fucking idiots.

"You should talk to him," said Neji.

I glared at him. "That's what you told me last time, shit for brains."

"You actually have to tell him how you feel though."

"Fuck that."

"How about fuck _him_ then?"

My nostrils flared. This bastard was trying to manipulate me. I liked where his thoughts were going though. "I'll see what I do. In the mean time, shut the hell up and don't get involved."

Maybe, just maybe, I'll be one of those lucky bastards that_ is_ actually happy, not just young and stupid.

**Naruto's P.O.V.**

"That's what happened?" asked Gaara.

I nodded, still sniffling and trying to remain calm.

Then, the corners of Gaara's mouth lifted and he began to laugh. My jaw dropped and my eyes widened.

"Are you _serious?_"

I couldn't respond, I was too stunned.

"So, you're basically freaking out because you think Uchiha just wanted to get in your pants?"

"Not necessarily… No."

"Then, what _is_ the problem exactly?"

"I just told you!"

"No, I mean, now that you've established what you were upset about, how do you feel about it all?"

I merely stared at Gaara and blinked. _What the fuck is he talking about? Since when is he my therapist!_

He smiled, in his own little way. "You really don't understand what Uchiha feels yet, do you?"

"… What is there to understand? He wants Hinata, but he isn't –"

"Naruto, if he liked a _girl_, why would he want to have sex with a _boy?_"

_I don't fucking know! He's confused!_

"He acts differently around you Naruto, why is that?"

"He's a douche!"

Gaara chuckled. "You may be correct, but that is not what I mean."

"Then just say it! You're making my head hurt…" He really is.

"He likes you."

"_Whaaat?_"

"Uchiha likes you."

I stared at him.

"He wants you, naked, on his bed – the floor, the backseat of his car, against a damn tree, and –"

My face flushed. "That's enough detail!" I never knew Gaara had that sort of comment in him… It's disturbing, like the toy in any happy meal after it's been shoved up a kid's nose.

"Must I paint a picture for you?"

"Please don't…" I have seen and read through a Kama Sutra book before, I'm good.

"Then, what's wrong?"

"What do you mean, what's wrong?"

"With _you_. Why did you reject Uchiha? You like him as well."

"N – no, I don't!" That's such a lie.

Gaara just stared at me.

"I really don't!"

… The eyes of death continued to carve into my soul.

"Alright! I do… I like him."

Gaara blinked. Thank God.

"I just – I don't know…"

"You don't know a lot of things, we all know that."

"…"

"We also know that Uchiha and yourself belong together."

"… We're not gay for each other."

"Your dick gets hard whenever you think of him."

My face turned red. "H – how do you know that! I never told you –"

"Now I know."

I glared at him.

"So, you think he has feelings for Hinata, correct?"

I nodded.

"Then why was he kissing you?"

I didn't know how to respond to that. "He's fucking insane?"

"As true as that may be, Uchiha only does something voluntarily if he desires to do it."

What the fuck did he just say?

"He did it because he wanted to." Thank you for answering my unspoken question.

"Oh… Why didn't you just say that!"

"I thought you might understand…"

"Apparently you don't know me very well!"

"… Apparently not."

Gaara and I went silent for a few moments – seconds, minutes, whatever. I suppose it wasn't an awkward silence, it was more of a what-the-fuck-am-I-gonna-do-now kind of silence. Sea green eyes stared up at me, asking me a question I had yet to find an answer to.

"I should go talk to him but… I really can't right now."

"Can't or won't?"

"Both."

"…"

"I would feel stupid if I went to go look for him right after all of that happened…"

"As opposed to how you normally_ act_ stupid?"

"Yeah – Wait! _Hey!_"

"Settle things as soon as possible, it'll be easier on both of you. Why waste time?"

"But I don't know what to say to him…"

"Say, 'Uchiha, I want you'. Done."

"That's not what I mean!"

"Then, what?"

"Ugh… I just don't know what to do. I like him, but we're both guys, we go to the same school, and we –"

"Naruto, I want you to do something for me."

"What is it?"

"Check between your legs really quick."

"… What?"

"Is there a pussy there?"

"What the fuck, no!"

"Then stop acting like one! If it'll make you happy, why wouldn't you do it? If it bothers someone so much that they have to be a dick about it, I'll kill them and fix the problem."

… "That's something Sasuke would say."

"I am glad I could pass on the message then."

"… Right. I'll talk to him tomorrow, alright?"

"Then we're done here, unless you still feel unwell."

"No… I'm fine. Thanks."

Gaara stood from his seat. He took out his cell phone and dialed while he embraced me as his farewell. I waved goodbye as he left through my front door.

Oh cruel teenage angst, you have claimed me as your victim. Now fuck off, I want to move on with my life. Well, I want to move on with Sasuke anyway.

I sighed.

Sasuke. Does he really like me? Uh, he was willing to rape me in his kitchen, so he definitely wants something from me – or in me? And Gaara said what he wanted was me… Not Hinata. Could he be wrong? Then again, the way Sasuke looked at me, and kissed me. He can't be wrong. Fuck. He's not. Damn, I really fucked up then!

What the fuck was I thinking! Well, I was freaking out that Sasuke was just going to hurt me in the end… It was for a good cause I guess. Still. Fuck this got ugly. Then again, it would have been worse if Gaara hadn't helped. Speaking of Gaara, where's Neji?

**Sasuke's P.O.V.**

"That has got to be the most awkward shopping experience for me," I said as Neji and I exited the store.

"The fact that you've had any kind of shopping experience further proves how gay you are," Neji remarked.

"I think having your dick in a man's ass trumps that though."

"…"

"Yeah, fuck off."

"Is that what Naruto told you?"

"… That's low."

"Like your chances of getting laid."

"… I'm going to kill you in your sleep."

"I don't sleep, I fuck until the sun rises." Why does that sound like a Chuck Norris joke?

"I doubt your one inch stump can do that."

"_That was such a Chuck Norris joke!_" Neji and I looked towards the freakish voice that screamed that statement. How the hell did they hear us from over there? And how did he know what I was thinking?

A tall figure walked towards us, and he was very familiar to me. Too familiar.

"Itachi, I told you to clean my house, not stalk me!"

Neji stared at my older sibling. Fuck, I wish I was adopted.

"But I haven't seen you in so long, little brother! I've missed you!" Itachi exclaimed in a flamboyant manner as he wrapped his arms around me. He knows I hate it when he touches me, and he knows that voice makes me want to punch him in the throat. Then again, that's why he does it.

"This is your brother?" asked Neji, finding that fact hardly believable. "Isn't he supposed to be like – a legend around here?"

"See! People do appreciate me in this town, little brother!" Itachi said, in his annoying voice again.

Neji merely stared at Itachi, clearly Neji understood that my brother had lost his mind.

"He used to be…normal," I said. "Well, he used to be _cool_ anyway. I don't really know what happened to him though. The only regret I have is that he didn't die yet."

Itachi's eyes watered. "How could you say that! After I risked my life driving all the way here, three times over the speed limit!"

"…three…times…?"

He smiled innocently. "That means you have to multiply."

"I know what it means! That's just – _what the fuck were you thinking!_"

"_Well_, first I was thinking about this pretty Unicorn figurine I bought on eBay, then how I needed to get a manicure, which _then_ caused me to think about the pedicure I got last week with this horrible lady that – "

"_Shut up!_"

"… What?"

"… Did you clean up my kitchen yet?"

"Yes."

"Then _go home!_"

"But Sasuke-Wasuke I want to spend time with –"

"Sasuke-_Wasuke?_" Neji repeated.

"Don't ask," I ordered. "And you don't get to stay at my house."

"Why_ not?_"

"Because I _said so_ you excuse for a human being."

Itachi sniffled. "How could you be so mean to your big brother?"

"Like this –" I kicked him in the shin. "_RUN!_" As Itachi cried like a little girl and held his shin in agony, Neji and I ran to his car and sped off. Had anyone gotten it on camera, it would have been awesome, and possibly movie worthy.

The car ride to my house was better than I expected, mainly because it consisted of calling someone to replace my broken window, and to deliver my new kitchen table in an hour. So, no bonding occurred. Hurray. Neji then got a phone call as well.

"…Yeah, I'm still with him… No, he's alright… Oh, okay, I'll tell him. I love you too, I'll be there to pick you up in five minutes."

"I'm guessing that was Gaara," I said, still feeling awkward that I heard part of their conversation. I was trying my hardest to forget the phone sex part.

"It was actually your mother."

"Don't you mean my father?"

"He's got an appointment tomorrow."

"Please give him AIDS."

"Done."

"… Did we seriously just have that conversation?"

"… Apparently."

"We should never hang out again."

"I am glad we can agree on that."

"… So, what am I supposed to know?"

"I think it's best that you find out tomorrow."

"Let me guess, it's related to Naruto, and it involves you two being nosy in some way. Wait, that already happened, _twice_."

Neji stopped in front of my house. I opened the door and stepped out. "Just make sure to trim your pubes tonight." I slammed the door and refused to acknowledge the fact that I heard that comment. Way to be a dick, Neji.

My window was later replaced, and my kitchen table arrived along with my idiot brother whom I let sleep in the guest room. All in all, I didn't give a damn about the rest of the night, it was a miserable day so why the hell should I give a damn about anything else? Everything with Naruto had basically gone down the shit-hole. Toilet sounds too innocent and non-miserable to go along with my mood, so shit-hole it is. Ugh, I didn't feel like doing anything right now. Fuck school tomorrow. Hell, I don't even have an alarm clock anymore! Fuck, Naruto has it! Oh well…

**Naruto's P.O.V.**

Why the hell is my bed so lumpy! Fuck! I hate it! Ugh, school sucks as is, I don't need it to be worse with almost no sleep. Well, that's not really why I can't sleep. I'm too damn worried about tomorrow. About what Sasuke will say… Damn, what will he say! Hopefully, nothing.

My face flushed at the thought of what Sasuke could respond with. Unfortunately, I was thinking too romantically to make it plausible. But at least it helped me get some sleep…

**Next Morning**

Here I was, standing in front of Sasuke's huge house again, just wondering what I should do next. It was too early to really bother Sasuke. I woke up too early and was too anxious to sleep in, which is completely unlike me. And now, here I am, staring at his house.

"Are you going to come in or are you going to just stand there like a creeper?"

I blinked and noticed someone standing in the doorway of Sasuke's house, eating toast. What's this guy doing here?

"Um… excuse me?" I said, unsure of what to do.

"You heard me, are you going to come in or not?" he asked again, smiling this time. Why did he seem so…gay? Was this Sasuke's –

"Who are you?" I asked him.

"I'm Itachi! Sasuke's brother!" he said, way too excited to actually be an Uchiha.

"Oh! I didn't know Sasuke had a brother."

He pouted. My gay-dar went off. "Yeah, he never talks about me." He smiled again. "But it's okay! I still get to meet his little friends at least! So, what's your name?"

"Um, Uzumaki Naruto."

"Well _hi_ Naruto, you're cute."

"… Thanks. Can I – erm – come in? I need to talk to Sasuke."

Itachi, Sasuke's creepy queer brother, smiled and stepped aside. "Of course you can! He's in his room. Don't take too long, you two still have to go to school." He winked at me as I walked up the steps. I was about to turn and run, but I needed to see Sasuke. I hurried off to Sasuke's room and closed the door as soon as I got in. I tried to lock the door, to make sure Itachi wouldn't come in and creep me out again, but I couldn't figure out Sasuke's stupid lock, it just wouldn't work for me! I was about to just kick it but –

"Naruto," Sasuke groaned.

Shivers went up my spine. I turned towards Sasuke and saw that he was fast asleep. Why did he call out my name? I approached him with caution.

"Oh _Naruto_ you're so –" Sasuke groaned again. He smiled this time, a pretty _erotic_ smile.

My face flushed immediately. Was he dreaming about me? Was he having a _wet dream_ about me! For whatever reason, it didn't really bother me. Maybe, it could actually happen? But I need to wake him up first.

"Sasuke," I called softly, shaking his shoulder gently, wanting him to wake up.

Onyx eyes opened slowly, but they eventually looked up at me. He looked confused.

"Sasuke, I need to tell you something," I said. I needed to tell him how I felt. "You have every right to be mad at me, but just hear me out, okay?"

**Sasuke's P.O.V.**

What's going on? What's he talking about…? We were just having sex, great sex. Why is he talking?

"You're awake now, right?" asked Naruto.

Of course not, otherwise you wouldn't be here.

"Shut up," I muttered in a groggy voice.

"I'm sorry, but –"

I grabbed Naruto by his arm and yanked him down on my bed. He wasn't expecting it, so he came down fairly easily. I turned him on his back and laid on top of him.

"Don't be sorry," I continued, "just shut up and kiss me."

At first, I thought he was going to argue with me, but he didn't. Naruto was surprised, but he didn't seem angry or upset. He leaned up and kissed me. Fuck, it left me breathless, even in my imagination Naruto is adorable and irresistible. I didn't hold back this time, I kissed him and showed him just how much I wanted him.

I need to have him. Hell, I _will_ have him right here and now.

* * *

Chapter 10 is now complete! YAY! It's been so long since I updated this... too long. So, let me know what you guys thought! The more motivation I feel, the faster the update! Now... click the damn button!

Until next time, Ja Ne!


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